Hijinks Rogue

"Hijinks Rogue"

F13

Usual disclaimers apply.

Follows immediately after "Repentant Rogue".

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Watching Phoenix button the tailored charcoal gray coat around her before pulling her hair out from its collar, Zankou marvelled again at how much closer their relationship had become since the Magic School debacle a week ago. As she bent over to select a pair of shoes from her substantial range within their walk-in robe, Zankou slid to the other side of the bed so as not to miss an inch of flesh bared by the business skirt sliding up her thighs.

He didn't suppress the ripple of appreciation that rumbled in his throat. "If you cancel this appointment, Phoenix, I can be urged to extend our 'love in the afternoon' session to a 'romp in the early evening'," he suggested.

Phoenix slipped on the second shoe and straightened, swinging her gaze down the length of him. She smiled slowly, then pursed her lips. "Hmmm, I'm tempted… but I cancelled a client yesterday afternoon, remember? At your… persuasion. I'm not going to fob this one off, particularly as I haven't landed him yet."

Zankou sighed heavily. He remembered. He convinced her to not go into work at all yesterday and they spent most of the day in bed. Stretching his arms above his head, he smiled in satisfaction. He too should get back on track and head down to the Underworld, check on his demons and give them something to do, but since his last bid to capture the Nexus resulted in the temporary death of his wife, he now lacked motivation and was more interested in spending every moment with her.

A movement in his peripheral vision had Zankou looking sharply at the fireplace. Frowning, he noticed Piper's wooden horse statue resting at the end of the mantle, looking out of place beside his cherished display boxes of antique coins. "When did that arrive?" he asked.

"What?"

"That grotesque excuse for a wooden sculpture."

Phoenix sifted through her collection of scarves, lovingly fingering their material and Zankou felt envious of the attention they were receiving. "I brought it home from the office the other day but only put it on the fireplace this morning. I kind of like it."

"I kind of hate it." He shifted uncomfortably in the bed. "The head's too big, the neck's too short and the genitals are grossly over-compensated."

Phoenix laughed. "It's probably some extinct civilization's greatly treasured fertility symbol." She batted her eyelashes at him and his eyes narrowed at the tease. "I thought you were interested in ancient artefacts and their powers, Zanky. You have to admit your performance this afternoon was amazing. Even for you. Perhaps the horse–"

Zankou swung himself off the bed and in four strides had Phoenix pulled backward into his arms. Wrapping his shoulders around her, he nipped her neck, nuzzling the velvet delicacy of her ear. "My love, that was sheer talent. Not magic."

"Says you," she smiled as she tipped her chin to aid his exploration.

"So get rid of it."

"Don't be so overbearing." Phoenix pulled out of his arms and went back to contemplating her scarves. Winding her choice of a dark red silk around her throat, she tossed another look at the statue. "For some reason, I just couldn't bear to leave it at the office. It looked so lonely there."

Turning his back on the horse, Zankou shrugged off the ominous prickle in the back of his neck. "I'm going to be lonely here," he complained, "but that's not worrying you too much at the moment."

Phoenix selected a perfume from a small array of bottles and Zankou watched her dab the scent on her wrists, elbows and behind her knees, his body tightening as he imagined following the lure of that scent with his lips.

"You missed a spot, goddess," he growled.

She arched an eyebrow at him. "My prospective client doesn't need to be aware of that… spot, Zanky, only you."

Chuckling, Zankou padded past her to his own rack of clothes. "I'll come into the office, too," he decided. Crossing his arms across his chest, his eyes ran over his minimal selection of leather coats, dark shirts and black pants. Pondering his lack of choice compared to Phoenix' colourful array, Zankou shrugged and walked out again. "How do I look?" he asked, grinning and throwing out his arms.

She looked him up and down, taking in his nude state, delight lighting her eyes. "You'd best put on some clothes, my love, else you'll start a stampede. And I don't mean out of the door."

Phoenix ran her hand down his chest, and Zankou captured it, guiding her fingers lower, daring her to continue.

"You are such a slut, Zankou," she breathed, fondling him.

Pulling her into his arms, Zankou kissed her, his body wanting more of this, even though he knew he wouldn't sway her. She returned the invasion, weakening and initiating an exploration of her own, then reluctantly pulled back. He let her go, but he wasn't happy about it.

"But I won't be there," she said, Zankou feeling triumphant at how breathless and disturbed she sounded. "I'm meeting my client at Pengally's. I have to fete this one with good food, better wine and the perfect atmosphere. Brenner is already an established author and I have to steal him away from Publish America before he gets too big, which I'm confident he will."

Zankou leaned against the wardrobe door as she reached for a clutch purse, then held it against her shoes. "Have I told you today how much I love you?" he asked, hunger lacing the casual tone of his voice.

Phoenix breathed in sharply and froze, her eyes locking with his. "Yes, but I adore hearing you say it, darling, and still can't believe how many times you've said it since the Nexus incident."

Reaching out, Zankou caressed her cheek with the back of his hand, his eyes closing from the depth of his emotion. "I nearly lost you. It made me realize that I may never be able to tell you enough."

She held his hand to her cheek then bent forward and kissed him, her eyes downcast and lips lingering. "I really have to go."

Zankou sighed. "I know. So don't forget your ring."

Phoenix pulled back in surprise. "I don't need to be omnipotent in a restaurant!"

"It will help you land your client."

"You know I don't work that way. Magic is for fun. There's no satisfaction in succeeding in business doing it the easy way."

"Take the ring," he said, firmly. She was more precious to him now than ever before, and he wasn't going to risk losing her to rival enemies, of which he had plenty. "I gave it to you for protection when I'm not around. Any time. Anywhere."

Phoenix started to protest, then stopped and smiled. "Whatever you say, lover." Sliding shut her scarf drawer, she pulled open a smaller one above it. Inside, a ruby lustre exploded under the robe spotlights, alive with facet depth and power. Phoenix slid the ring onto her third finger before giving Zankou a final kiss.

"See you soon," she said.

"I'm counting on it."

oOo

Zankou materialized in a corner of Pengally's Restaurant, his back against the wall, and leisurely looked around. He had never been here before, but he knew that Phoenix planned her client meetings with careful forethought and no doubt had good reasons for choosing this establishment.

His lip quirked as he imagined the surprise on her face when she saw him. He would have his revenge for the terror she put him through on her aquarium floor last week. He'd already decided to pose as a waiter and pretend to serve her table exclusively, overdoing the officiousness if she played along or pleading ignorance if she chose to expose him. Whichever way she reacted, she couldn't accuse him of not being an attentive husband.

Scanning the room, he found her at a small table near the centre of the crowded restaurant, her head bent toward a compact man in a too-tight suit, pointing to a section of his menu. The man – had she called him 'Brenner' earlier? – nodded as if agreeing with her choice, pushed a lock of mouse-gray hair back behind his ear and pursed his thin lips.

"Now to get changed," Zankou said, looking around.

His gaze alighted on a young man carrying a drinks' tray toward a table at the back of the room. His eyes widened as he took in the waiter's 'uniform' consisting of nothing but a G-string. Zankou hastily searched the rest of the elegantly furnished room and found another waiter balancing four large plates on his bare inner arms, with two stiff white cuffs at his wrists. His naked ass weaved between the tables until he reached his objective and deposited the meals with a triumphant flourish in front of four women. They ogled him openly, one reaching behind to stroke his butt. The waiter's only reaction was to smile and bend over with a quick word to the woman.

"Shit!" Zankou warred with indignation that his wife would choose such a restaurant and disappointment that his plan had gone awry, until a thought occurred to him.

"Maybe all is not lost," he muttered as he scanned for the maitre'd. But the hope that the restaurant's chief usher would be more circumspectly dressed died as Zankou noted the man was adorned similarly, but with the added distinction of wearing a black tie against his bare chest.

"Shit!"

Zankou heaved a sigh, weighing his choices. A lonely, boring early night without Phoenix or an entertaining, if raunchy, evening making mischief for her. Even faced with the necessity of losing his protective leathers, Zankou couldn't miss an opportunity to indulge in some sport with his wife.

With a flourish of his hand, Zankou's leathers disappeared as he sauntered toward her table, his naked back straight, butt and feet bare. He was immediately aware of heads turning as he passed them, as they should, but he ignored the looks of interest, focusing on Phoenix. She spotted him, her gaze captured and held as her chin slowly lifted, eyes widening in shock.

Bowing low, he looked Phoenix in the eye and smiled saucily. "Sir… Madame… are you ready to order?"

Zankou heard a strangled sound in her throat, but Phoenix recovered quickly, giving no other sign of recognition.

"I'm not sure," Brenner said, continuing to peruse his menu. Zankou ignored him, giving Phoenix the full benefit of the devils dancing in his eyes.

"Zan–" Phoenix began.

"I'm Zane, Madame, remember?" Zankou said. "You were so pleased with my services last time. I'll be your personal waiter again tonight."

"That won't be necessary… Zane." Phoenix was rallying, finding her voice as she shot him a lethal look. "Martin has already been attending us."

"But can Martin… satisfy you as well as I can?" Zankou countered, his grin wicked.

Brenner looked up from his menu, surprise registering on his face. His look lingered on Zankou, then swung to Phoenix. "Let Zane attend us."

Phoenix' mouth twisted, but she said nothing, obviously still treading carefully with this author. Whatever the client wanted, the client got.

"The fish, I think," Brenner said, closing his menu and handing it to Zankou.

Zankou raised an eyebrow at Phoenix, awaiting her order.

Her gaze raked him head to foot. She wasn't pleased with the interruption and Zankou could see the suspicion bloom in her eyes, but for now she seemed to be playing along with the game.

"The rump," she said, her smile sarcastic. "Tender."

Zankou almost laughed aloud. "I can arrange that." Turning, he presented a bare butt cheek to her, then swaggered off toward the double doors leading to the kitchen. He would have liked to have looked back to see the expression on her face, but he didn't want to overdo it. Yet. He'd wait ten minutes, then materialize their meals and deliver them for his next offensive.

Detouring, Zankou hovered at the back of the room, watching Phoenix converse with her client. He found her awareness of his presence amusing – the quick looks she darted around the room, searching for him, then hastily looking away when she saw his studying her. Ignoring other patrons trying to get his attention, Zankou waited till she spied him, then moved on to stand against another wall when she looked down.

"Hi dark and sexy, we need you over here!" a woman's voice called.

Zankou disregarded the summons, pretending ignorance.

"Hey! Tight cheeks!" The woman was insistent, her accent more pronounced from raising her voice. "We need some service over here, and we want you!"

A giggle erupted from the table and Zankou turned to give the woman a haughty glance. Observing the petite blonde and attractive brunette eyeing him, his indignation morphed to calculation as he considered indulging in a slight diversion while he bided his time. And if Phoenix was watching, it would make it all that more entertaining.

"Ladies." He sidled up to them, bowing slightly, keeping his eyes off the blonde's cleavage, and on Phoenix across the room.

"Two margaritas, thanks," the brunette ordered in her broad twang.

Zankou presented his white cuffed wrists to her in apology. "I'm the food waiter, ladies. But I'll summon someone to attend to you."

"That's okay. We'll feast on you instead," the blonde said, her accent unmistakably denoting her as a New Yorker.

Zankou's brow arched upward. He liked her forward style, but though he enjoyed living dangerously, he wasn't suicidal. Phoenix' gaze had found him again and he wanted to tease his wife and survive the repercussions.

"Sorry, ladies. I'm due to serve table twenty-nine. Some other time." For Phoenix' benefit, he lifted the blonde's hand and placed a delicate kiss on her fingers, then left the table, feeling the almost physical brush of their eyes on his back as he went. It made his skin tingle, heightening the anticipation of provoking Phoenix.

"I've died and gone to heaven," the New Yorker sighed.

"Hell is more like it," Zankou chuckled.

His eyes held his wife's as he walked slowly toward her. Brenner was watching him too, before catching Phoenix' attention with a quick and earnest exchange. Her gaze never left Zankou but she nodded at what Brenner said, and spoke briefly in return.

Just as he reached his wife's table, Zankou materialized two large dinner plates into his hands and set them upon the surface, standing close to her side. "Your rump, Madame," he purred. "Just how you like it."

Phoenix' normally beautiful face looked pinched and tight. "Thanks, Zane," she gritted, her eyes glittering. "Perhaps you'd cut it for me?"

Zankou's brows rose. Were the waiters expected to perform this task?

"Of course." He leaned across her, deliberately brushing a breast with his arm as he sawed at the meat. Juices oozed from the steak and Zankou let his lips part as he gazed at Phoenix with half-closed eyes. "To your satisfaction, Madame?" he whispered.

"Immensely. Zane…"

"Yes, Madame?" He couldn't prevent his lips curving into a self-satisfied smile.

"The owner of the restaurant is a friend of mine, so I'm aware that the waiters are allowed to… attend the guests in private rooms… and still be on the clock. If they're interested." Phoenix let a pause hang heavy between them. "If you know what I mean," she added, her voice holding that delicate balance of authority and sultry invitation that always turned him on.

Zankou's hand froze mid-cut. The restaurant offered more than just food on the menu? Is that why she came here? His eyes narrowed, jealousy clawing at his gut, then immediately reined it in. Perhaps Phoenix was merely playing the game with a few trumps of her own.

"And you want to know if I'm interested?" he asked cautiously.

She nodded, her eyes holding his, serious and deep.

Zankou straightened, carefully placing her knife and fork on the table. "I think I can be persuaded."

Phoenix smiled and sat back, waving her hand toward her client who had been listening avidly to the conversation.

"Great!" Brenner said, his eyes round and greedy. He leaned behind Phoenix and grabbed Zankou's butt in his hand and gave it a hard squeeze. "Let's go, Zane. Phoenix," Brenner dragged his eyes from Zankou's body long enough to beam at his dinner companion, "if you can find markets for my books as well as you can find restaurants, then you can have all my manuscripts!"

oOo

Zankou seethed as he flung the white cuffs from his wrists and paced his bedroom.

Phoenix had set him up and set him up good.

He had no idea the restaurant tailored mostly for gay men, hence every waiter was either gay or bisexual. Women were obviously welcome too, able to ogle the goods if the waiters were amenable. He doubted Phoenix' story about the private rooms though, guessing it was her gambit to reel him in.

Zankou had never been caught so flat-footed. He hadn't seen it coming. He had to admire Phoenix' ingenuity, but it still galled him. She hadn't played fair, luring him into the trap with ease, using his ignorance to her advantage.

So incensed was he, Zankou felt ready to implode. Needing an outlet for his temper, he directed a fireball at the floor lamp beside the bed, exploding it into a pillar of fire. For good measure, he destroyed the one on the other side of the bed, but still felt aggravated and dangerous.

Swinging around, his gaze alighted on the wooden horse on the mantelpiece. Summoning more energy into his hand, he pulled back just in time. In his temper, he might inadvertently scorch, or worse, destroy his coin collections. Rounding on a stuffed chair set against the wall, Zankou lit that into a blazing fire instead. Hunching his shoulders, he panted out his frustration, then headed for the shower to cool off.

Phoenix said not to wait up for him, smiling sweetly in the face of his outrage as he batted Brenner's hand from his ass and disappeared, leaving her the explanations to her client. He would shower and then he would wait for her, meanwhile devising suitable punishment.

"Wait till you get home," he grated, as he plunged himself under the cold shower. Steam rose with a sibilant hiss, shrouding Zankou within his rage.

oOo

Zankou's hot dreams were rocked and splintered by a shrill scream that pierced his sleeping state and had his heart pounding. He was out of bed in a bound, crouched, hands thrust protectively forward, and ready for battle.

Phoenix was standing at the bedroom door, deathly white, her eyes shell-shocked and fixed on him, mouth trembling.

"What is it?" Zankou's head snapped left and right, looking for the cause of her distress. Seeing nothing, he looked behind him, his gaze locking onto the sight in the bed. The brazen young student from Magic School, the one that had declared herself his Queen while he was possessed by the Nexus, was luxuriously stretching across Phoenix' pillow, naked but for the sheet wrapped around her hips.

"What the fu–!?"

"Zankou!" Phoenix screamed. "You… bastard!"

"What the hell are you doing here?" Zankou roared at the intruder, his shock as real as Phoenix'. He searched his memory in vain for her name. "Who are you again?"

"I am in my rightful place," the girl declared. "I am Veronica, Zankou's Queen."

Phoenix lurched forward, then froze. "Are you for real?"

Zankou swallowed hard. This looked bad. Very bad. He'd fallen asleep waiting for Phoenix to come home from the evening with Brenner, plotting his retribution for the joke she had played on him. He had no recollection of Veronica being with him at all. "This is ridiculous! This isn't my–"

"Shut up!" Phoenix spat, still looking at Veronica. "How did you get here?"

"You brought me," Veronica said, eyeing Phoenix innocently.

"Me? You've got to be kidding."

"I knew I had nothing to do with it!" Zankou relaxed a little, flexing away the tension in his shoulders.

Phoenix turned on him. "I said, shut up!" She waved a hand at him and his next words came out in a soundless rush of air.

Veronica pointed to the fireplace, lined now only with Zankou's coin collection.

She was the wooden horse? Zankou had more reason to hate that monstrosity. Panic clutched at his heart as he tried to take a breath. Not only couldn't he speak, but he couldn't breathe. He flayed his hands at Phoenix, eyes wide with entreaty.

"You transformed yourself into the horse statue?" Phoenix asked Veronica.

The young girl frowned. "It was more of a case of using it as a vessel for my essence."

"Your essence be damned!"

Soundlessly gasping, Zankou reached for Phoenix, but she pushed out her palm and he froze. His insides churned with alarm, but while she wore the ruby ring, Phoenix was stronger than he and there wasn't a damn thing he could do.

"The Charmed Ones told me my destiny would be realized at Magic School," Veronica explained. "They were right. My place is beside Zankou."

"And you agree with this, do you?" Phoenix rounded on Zankou again. "You just welcome your… Queen… into our bed because the Charmed Ones say so."

No! I had no idea she was there! Consciousness was sliding away from him, his knees collapsing.

Finally realizing he was near death, Phoenix flicked a wrist at him and Zankou gasped as air filled his lungs. "I didn't–" he wheezed.

"Stop lying! This is how much you love me! This and your mockery earlier this evening. Parading yourself almost naked in a restaurant of strangers! Fawning over women, knowing – knowing! – I'm watching! If this is your idea of love, save it for someone stupid enough to agree with you!"

Zankou cringed. "It wasn't– It was a joke! I was playing–"

"Precisely! It's only about fun for you. You do nothing – achieve nothing, but trip from prank to cruel joke to destroying other people who are trying to accomplish something in their miserable lives while you pursue your so-called ultimate power. You wouldn't know what to do with ultimate power if you ever got it, which, thank the gods, you just can't manage to do!"

His breath short, Zankou's shoulders bowed and his neck felt ready to snap. Nausea threatened as if she'd kicked him in the gut. "It's my–"

"I don't want to be a part of it any more, Zankou. Go your destructive way without me."

"Come, Zankou," Veronica said, swinging off the bed and walking toward him. "We will leave now and receive the Charmed Ones blessing–"

"Good idea!" Phoenix snapped. "They created this fiasco." She thrust her finger at the young naked girl between them. "They can sort it out!"

Remorse gripped Zankou, shrouding his vision with a thick haze. A persistent thumping in his head spawned a dull ache that was intensifying. "They had nothing to do with– Phoenix!" he yelled, as his wife raised both arms toward them.

The haze cleared. Gone was the familiar décor of his bedroom, replaced with the antique furnishings of the Charmed Ones' Manor drawing room.

Zankou looked around at the shocked faces of at least half a dozen people gathered in the room. His knees buckled in resigned horror, his bare ass hitting the carpet with a dejected thump. "By the horned gods, I'm back," he mumbled, his head hanging between his knees.

The silence of the hushed room was broken by a cascade of gasps and a heavy sigh.

"Piper, get them some clothes," Leo said.

More Zankou to come…