| Neighbors By Lilybird |
| Chapter 33 (Note: The song lyrics used in this chapter are being used without permission, but no infringement is intended.) Oded had shown up early to work on Monday, and stayed much later than anyone else. He didn't want to go home. He didn't know how to get her back and seeing her would just torture him. UC was premiering this coming weekend and already there was talk of a big party. Oded didn't think he could stomach celebrating this without Abby. He had made a blanket statement to everyone that he wasn't going to talk about Abby and to leave him alone. He got what he wished for and found that all he had to do was give someone an evil look and they scampered to get out of his way. And he was giving an awful lot of evil looks. Cheryl had to have the most contact with him and watched him carefully. She knew whatever had happened over the weekend hadn't been resolved and it didn't take her long to figure out that from the way he snapped at several people, that not only had he hurt Abby, but that she had also hurt him. She got the distinct feeling that Abby was the one who called it off. She tried to be understanding and treat him with kid gloves but he was a bear to be around. However she did notice the director was particularly pleased with Oded's performances. He was definitely channeling all his aggression and anger into his character and the intensity was scary to watch. Abby also worked long hours avoiding the house as much as possible. She knew it was silly. With the hours he worked she knew he wouldn't be around but just being home made her think of him and it hurt less to stay at work. The problem was every time her phone rang she felt obligated to answer it and every time she picked it up she got an adrenaline surge thinking it might be Oded. By the time the end of the day finally came she was jittery and over stimulated and at the same time disappointed that he actually hadn't called. She berated herself for it. 'Abby, you broke up with him... and now you expect him to call? You don't know what you want.' She headed home to go to bed and was relieved that his car wasn't there when she pulled in. She cleaned up and grabbed some dinner, then flipped on the TV for some mindless entertainment. Ellie jumped up onto the couch next to her settling down into her lap, nuzzling her head under Abby's hand trying to get a caress. Abby absentmindedly scratched the cat behind her ears, massaging her fur with her fingers. She felt Ellie stretch out, and lay her head down enjoying the attention. She could hear her purr in contentment and Abby smiled remembering how much Oded loved to have his hair played with and the little purr of satisfaction that would slip from him as he reacted to her touch. For a moment she was happy, giving into the need to show affection. She gave Ellie a good scruff of her fur, making her loll and roll across her lap. But then the moment was shattered. As she flipped the channels she dropped the carrot stick she was chewing and her mouth dropped open. NBC had started running commercials for UC and she had stumbled across one. It was so brief she almost missed it but she sat dumbfounded recognizing his face as it flashed across the screen. The show was premiering in one week on Sunday. She glanced out the window to see if he was home. She wanted to tell him she had seen him, she was so excited she could barely contain herself then she frowned as she realized she couldn't share this with him. She was so confused about her feelings. She didn't break up with him because she didn't love him. It was the fact that she loved him that made her break up with him. The more she thought about it the more stupid it sounded, but she had indeed done it and since then he hadn't spoken to her. She sat in front of the TV for another hour hoping they would run the commercial again, but they didn't and she went to bed frustrated. Oded arrived home very late and she had long since gone to bed. Still as he pulled up, he vainly hoped maybe to see her light on. He was still trying to wrap his brain around what to do and every time he thought he had figured out what to say to her, he heard in his head, ten things she would say to defeat his argument. He was weary and he climbed into bed exhausted physically, mentally and emotionally. 'Tomorrow is another day,' he told himself, 'I'll figure it out tomorrow.' He sought solace in the fact that she lived next door. He could at least keep an eye on her; try to find a way to casually run into her, force some sort of confrontation. He knew she couldn't just disappear and he fell asleep at least content to know she was close, wishing he could hold her and tell her how he felt. He wanted to tell her he was sorry. 'But sorry for what?' he thought. 'Sorry for my career, sorry for falling in love with her?' He couldn't apologize for either and he wouldn't. Tuesday however pushed Oded over the top. His day started with the torture of spotting her in the shower. 'Would she never learn to drop her shades?' he bemoaned. He watched for only a few seconds as she washed her hair, seeing her arch her head back into the water as she rinsed the shampoo. Then he dropped his shades with a snap turning his back on her. Then on his way to work he had turned on the radio and singing along as he always did he started listening to the words of the Evan and Jaron song: "Would you look at her as she looks at me She's got me thinkin about her constantly But she don't know how I feel And as she carries on without a doubt I wonder if she's figured out.” He switched the station mid song shaking his head, only to hear Smashmouth remind him: "I can't get enough of you baby I can't get enough of you baby Yes it's true Baby yes it's true Whenever we kiss I get a feeling like this I get to wishin that there was two of you My heart cries out more baby It feels so nice I want your arms to wrap around me twice I can't get enough of you baby...” “Oh come on!” he yelled at the radio - he flipped the station only to be confronted with Lifehouse murmuring about being: "Desperate for changing Starving for truth I'm closer to where I started Chasing after you I'm falling even more in love with you Letting go of all I've held onto I'm standing here until you make me move I'm hanging by a moment here with you " Finally, he shut the radio off with a snap. Fuming. Every single song made him think of her. "Damn it!" he swore. "I've got to DO something." He had been trying since Sunday to pull apart her arguments, to find a way to convince her that her fears were unfounded. But he couldn't. She had been right. Their future together wouldn't be easy, but did that mean they shouldn't even try? Waiting for her to come around wasn't working and it was driving him crazy. He wasn't sleeping well, and he was impossible to even be around at work. He rode in silence the rest of the way into the set, afraid to turn on the radio. Mid morning the idea finally struck him and he laughed out loud. Cheryl caught him humming. She worried that perhaps he had finally gone completely off the deep end, but he was actually in a genuinely good mood. "Oded?" Cheryl stopped him. "What's the deal? Did you work things out with Abby?" She smiled at him quizzically. "Nope," he responded. "But I'm planning to." He had this boyish grin on his face making the dimples in his cheeks light up with amusement. He stuffed his hands into his pockets as he raised his shoulders, the grin on his face turning into a smile. Cheryl eyed him suspiciously, he was overly confident. "And how do you plan to do that?" "I'm going to court her," he announced. "I'm going to rain gifts upon her. I'm going to spoil her rotten." He smiled. He almost bounced with enthusiasm. Cheryl didn't smile back. "Oded, why don't you just talk to her? Are you sure the gifts thing is such a good idea?" "I can't talk to her about this," he answered. She had momentarily taken the wind out of his sails. He frowned at her, his bottom lip almost forming a pout. He almost turned away from her; he really didn't want to start second-guessing himself again. "Why not?" She pursued it knowing she was pushing him. "Because I wouldn't be able to change her mind," he answered her in an almost exasperated tone. He shrugged his shoulders in dismay. "Honestly Cheryl her arguments make sense. We do have a lot going against us. We probably shouldn't be together. There are no words I can say to change that. I can't get her back that way. She's too smart for her own good." He sighed, taking a deep breath. His shoulders had slumped as he talked about his frustration with Abby. He consciously stood himself upright, forcing a small smile onto his lips, making eye contact with Cheryl. "So," he began again. "I have to convince her that even though the odds are stacked against us I'm still worth the effort. I'm going to romance her, sweep her off her feet." He may not be able to talk himself out of this problem, but he could do his darndest to make himself irresistible. He had to convince her he was worth taking a chance on. Cheryl just shook her head at him as he walked away, not waiting for her response. Oded went back to humming, the little smile still on his face, his plan running through his head again. 'If she thought I was distracting before, just wait until she sees how distracting I can be when I put my mind to it,' he thought. He called the florist. The flowers showed up while she was working in lab. Shuralee sent the delivery boy directly to her hoping it would help lift Abby's funk. Monday Abby had said just enough to make it clear that she and Oded had split up and Shuralee had left her alone not wanting to pry. When the flowers arrived on Tuesday she hoped it meant the two were working things out. She was shocked when Abby marched back down to the office, two dozen red roses in hand and handed them to her. "Here, you take them. Someone should enjoy them." And then she had walked out. Shuralee just shook her head in disbelief. "If a man like Oded Fehr was trying to make up with me by sending me roses I'd run like mad to go find him!" She said loudly, hoping Abby would hear her in the hallway as she sniffed the fragrance from the petals. Abby went back to her lab fighting back the adrenaline followed by the tears. She picked the card out of the garbage where she had tossed it, reading it again. "A I'm going to be the biggest distraction you have ever witnessed. I want you in my life. Let me be in yours. O" She smiled through the tears, she did want him in her life, but she didn't trust how things would turn out for them. She couldn't cave. 'He just needs time to figure out he can get along without me,' she thought, trying to believe that was true for both of them. She kept the card, tucking it into her pocket. She regretted giving the roses to Shuralee, but in her resolve to get over her feelings for Oded she knew keeping them would make it harder. She worked late again grabbing dinner in the student union. Regrettably she ran into Jeff. "Abby, how are you?" he asked standing by her table. "May I join you?" She looked up at him reluctant to encourage him, but had no reason to say no. "I'm fine...Of course, please do." She pulled her tray closer to her seat to give him room. He sat down and she looked back at her plate. "Really, you're fine?" he asked again. She didn't look fine he thought. She looked tired and distracted and, he had to admit to himself, quite sad. She looked up at him, nodding her head. "Really, I'm fine." She smiled falsely. She asked him about his classes and forced a light conversation between them, not wanting him to ask her about Oded. He played along for a while but finally couldn't help himself. "Abby, have you talked to him?" She looked up at him a look of surprise in her eyes at his forwardness. "No Jeff, I haven't. But that is really none of your business." She stood, grabbing her tray. She was done eating. "I have to go." "Abby I'm sorry I didn't mean to pry. You just look... " "What?" she stopped before she turned away, "What? Are you going to tell me I look like hell again?" She was pissed. "No," he chuckled a little. "I was going to say you look very sad. I'm sorry it hurts this much for you." The look of anger disappeared and her eyes softened. "Thanks Jeff, I'll be okay. I really do have to go." She turned to leave. He watched her go shaking his head. He felt very guilty about his role in all of this. He should have left well enough alone. He realized now he probably never really had a chance with her and he was okay with that. He actually had developed a new crush on one of the graduate students in the lab down the hall. But he really did care about Abby. If he couldn't be the one to make her happy, he hoped she could find someone who could, and his gut was telling him maybe it was Oded after all. She went back to her office to work, not going home until well after midnight. She pulled up to see his lights on in his living room. She was surprised that he would be home already. She sighed deeply knowing what she was missing, fighting the desire to go knock on his door. She walked quietly up her stairs hoping he hadn't seen her come home. She tripped over the box that sat in front on the top step falling into her screen door with her shoulder. She cursed wondering why the mailman had left the package there and picked it up carrying it inside. She set the box on the dining room table and went to the kitchen to make herself a cup of tea. She peeled off her jacket and kicked off her shoes and finally came back to the table to investigate the box. She was tired and didn't look closely at the front; instead pulling it open to see what was inside, assuming it was the clothes her mother said she would send. When she realized it was from Oded she slowed herself down. She felt her adrenaline surge through her body, her hands starting to shake almost uncontrollably. She took a big deep breath, she was giddy that he had left her a present but also angry that he was making this so hard for her. She almost closed the box, not wanting to know what he had given her. She stood still; holding the box half closed. But her curiosity won out. She needed to see what was inside. She threw open the box and dug inside. She pulled out the UC sweatshirt first with a note pinned to it. "A, Seemed only fair if I am going to advertise UBC by wearing your sweatshirt, that you wear one of mine. If I can't hold you in my arms, at least this will keep you warm until you change your mind and come back to me. O" She smiled a little as she set the heavy sweatshirt on the table and dug down further. Below the sweatshirt she found DVD copies of The Mummy and The Mummy Returns with a note taped to the front. "A, If I'm not allowed to see you at least you can see me. Remember how sexy you thought I looked in those Med-Jai robes? Remember what happened between us the night we watched these movies? I do, and I don't want the memories to fade. O" She felt the heat in her body start to simmer at the instant memory he had provoked. All she could see in her mind's eye was the view of them together in the mirror of her bedroom as he had undressed her and was exploring her body with his hands for the very first time. She closed her eyes and allowed herself to enjoy the thought for just a moment, before she shook herself, trying to fight the rapid beat of her heart as she thought of him. She set the movies on the sweatshirt. Realizing there was still more in the box. She closed it. She couldn't handle this. She walked away, leaving the box on the table. She went upstairs to get ready for bed. She brushed her teeth, combed her hair, and pulled on her flannel pajamas. Now that he wasn't sharing her bed she found herself cold in the night. She climbed into bed her body still flushed from the memories he pulled up in her. She closed her eyes and all she could see was him. She threw back the covers. "Goddamn it!" she swore out loud. She couldn't get him or the stupid box out of her head, the unknown gifts in the bottom now driving her crazy. She went back downstairs. She stood by the table, barefoot in her jammies and yanked open the box again. She reached in and pulled out Oreo cookies. She laughed. The note read, "A, I know we both have a fondness for these. I can't help but think about how good these tasted in your mouth the night I found you asleep on the couch. We have so many other desserts made by little Keebler elves to sample together. Chips Ahoy, Nutter Butters, Pecan Sandies. Please come back to me. O" She pulled open the bag, his quirky sense of humor making her giggle to herself. She nibbled a cookie letting the chocolate melt in her mouth. She set the rest of the cookies on the table with the rest of the gifts. In the bottom of the box she found one last gift. A Hebrew dictionary and a new Scrabble game with Hebrew Tiles. The note read, "A, You have not even begun your Hebrew lessons. I have so much to teach you. I challenge you to a rematch once you learn the alphabet. I've marked several important words in the dictionary- study up-your final is not far off. Ich hob der lieb. O" She stood holding the dictionary, seeing several pages marked with red flags. She couldn't bring herself to open the book. She now knew what Ich hob der lieb meant without the translation. She felt the pain of breaking his heart all over again and the ache she felt was almost too much to bear. She couldn't fight the tears although she tried. She took a deep breath, then with a swallow of her emotions she lifted her hands to her face and with her fingers she carefully wiped the tears away. She methodically put everything back in the box. He wasn't going to let her go easily, she should have known this. The intensity of their relationship from the very first date had shown her how passionate he was. His gifts shouldn't have been surprising. The tears still welling in her eyes went away and she slowly allowed herself to smile, feeling warmth creep into her cheeks and then into her body, now relishing his thoughtfulness, loving his creativity and humor. She looked up and glanced out her dining room window. He was standing there watching her, from his window. The look on his face was hopeful and light-hearted and he smiled at her. He had seen her come home and had stood by the window watching her as she opened each gift. When she had only opened part of the gift and then had walked away he felt his heart drop. He stood quietly trying to figure out what must be going through her head. But he couldn't. When her light switched off and she left the box incomplete on the table he hung his head and turned away, flopping down on the couch in disappointment. Thinking not only had the gift failed but he may have made things worse. He switched on the TV trying to drown out his mind, needing escape. A few minutes later he saw her light switch back on in her living room out of the corner of his eye and he turned the TV off, looking across the way trying to see what she was doing. When he saw her standing there in those blasted flannel pajamas, her bare feet propped one on top of the other he couldn't help but chuckle. His mind flashing to the memory of having to peel those pajamas off of her in the dark when he had come home late that night a week ago and found her asleep. They had both enjoyed that night he recalled, then he chuckled, who was he kidding, they had both enjoyed every night they had shared together. His heart now started to race when he realized she had come back down to finish looking in the box. He was getting to her. She hadn't been able to just walk away from it. He saw her open the cookie bag and he would have done anything to have one for himself, to have her offer him one. He could almost taste it and he had to swallow to clear the sense from his mouth. When she pulled out the Hebrew dictionary he caught his breath. She didn't open it, and he watched her as her head hung low. He thought he saw her touch her face and he felt his heart break again as he watched her wipe away the tears as she put everything back in the box. Then she looked up and he was surprised to see the smile on her face. His heart leapt; it had worked after all. He waved to her, not able to hide the excitement, but she didn't wave back. The small smile that was on her lips faded and she turned away. She walked to her stairs and flipped off the light going up to her bedroom in the dark. He watched her go and a frown now formed. He ran his hands through the silver gray at his temples, then roughly across his beard, sighing loudly. She was obviously still determined to keep her distance from him. But he refused to give up. This was only phase one. He didn't expect her to come around immediately he had to remind himself. She was strong willed and stubborn and all he had really hoped to accomplish today was to introduce doubt, make her think about him. He was still determined. He hadn't felt this strongly about a woman ever and he wasn't going to let her go without a fight. Then he smiled, his hands going back to his hair to scruff his scalp as he then stretched his arms. Inspiration for phase two had struck. Honestly he didn't really want to face his bed alone again, so he stayed up late planning and organizing his next gift to her. He finally fell asleep on his couch paper strewn around him. She had calmly gone up to her bedroom to escape him. Seeing him in the window had made her almost jump and seeing the look on his face had almost melted her into the floor. She didn't know how she had done it, but she had somehow turned away and left the room. She sat on the side of her bed for a long time quietly, finally now, not fighting her heart. She had been fighting with her feelings since last Thursday and she just didn't have it in her anymore. She was alone and now after the first real contact since the fight between them on Saturday she simply let herself feel for him. She thought about all they had shared and been through together in the short time that they had known one another. She flopped back on the bed, her hands over her head and let herself enjoy it. She laughed remembering how he had chased her up the stairs the night they had ordered pizza and what he had done to her in this bedroom for the very first time, and his look of surprise when she told him. She could see the look on his face when she had turned in the kitchen the night she had cooked for him, seeing that dark dangerous look of desire in his eyes, making her feel sexier than she had ever felt in her life. She thought of their very first date and his first kiss, his imposing frame capturing her against the counter and the way her body had responded to him, even as she struggled with her skirt. She thought of the conflict he had felt about sleeping together, remembering how torn he had been about needing her to understand that he had feelings for her, and that he wanted their time together to be about more than just lust, even when he couldn't understand it himself. She thought again of the first night they had made love, then of the passion they had shared at his place after his surprise dinner for her, the shower, and the incredible sex they had shared in front of the fireplace. She sighed deeply, her body warm and flushed. She wanted that again, she really did. She was honestly relieved that he was finally trying to convince her to reconsider. She had feared a battle, a confrontation, another verbal fight. She was grateful that he hadn't chosen this route. She did wonder what he hoped to accomplish with the gifts. It didn't change the reality of their dilemma. They would have to talk eventually and the words would still be the same. Her resolve hadn't changed, there were still to many obstacles to their future for her to reconsider her decision, but for at least a little while she let herself enjoy the fun. She just couldn't tell him. She got hot in her flannel pajamas, with all the memories flooding her body. She pulled them off and reached under her pillow to grab her T-shirt but couldn't find it. She flipped on the light and knelt beside the bed to look on the floor. With a gasp of recognition she pulled his T-shirt out from under her bed. She held it to her face, inhaling the utterly recognizable scent that made her swoon. She nuzzled her nose into the fabric letting the scent of his body, the spice of his skin now flood her senses. She smiled and stood pulling off her clothes, dropping his shirt over her head, feeling it envelope her in soft cotton. It hung low on her legs, bigger than her T-shirts and she hugged her arms around herself, imaging him with her, the fabric instead of on her body, on his and what it would feel like to be bare and press herself against him as he wore this shirt. She dropped her arms and let her head hang heavy, melancholy now taking over at the memory of what she now did not have. She climbed into bed, letting the scent of his body lull her into a deep sleep and into a dreamland where she could relieve the memories of them together but not also have to hurt from the pain of being apart. In the morning he roused himself from the couch disoriented and confused about the time. He hauled himself up the stairs, pulling off his clothes to shower and change. As he stumbled into the bathroom he caught sight of her leaving her bathroom. He thought he must have been dreaming. He recognized his shirt immediately. He had wondered what had happened to it, not even thinking that he had left it at her place. He watched it swing around her thighs, hanging loose on her. His face broke into a beam at the realization. “She wouldn't wear my shirt unless she was thinking of me,” he said out loud. There was definitely hope and he climbed into the shower ecstatic at the possibility that he just might really have a chance. He left his shades up on purpose hoping she would return and see him. If she was reliving memories by wearing his T-shirt then he decided he would inundate her with as many memories and thoughts of him as he could. He laughed loudly, snorting in water and sputtering. He climbed out of the shower and stood in front of his mirror, flexing his chest and arm muscles, checking himself out. He made himself blush. But he was thinking if it would help to drive her crazy, he would parade around naked in his house with all the curtains up to get her attention and maybe, just maybe spark a little flame in her head. 'Yep,' he decided he would turn up the furnace and walk around in his birthday suit. He laughed again at the thought - suddenly glad they didn't have any other neighbors around them to see the show. But for now he had to get dressed and go to work. As soon as he got to work he called the florist again, another batch of flowers on their way - this time orchids. The delivery boy was now familiar with how to find Abby and when he saw Shuralee he nodded his head in the direction of Abby's lab and waited for the affirmative. She was not around however, so he left them on her desk to find. When she found them she sighed with exasperation, grabbing the card to see what message he had left her this time. "A, Am I bugging you yet? I hope so. I miss you. O" She softly laughed at the message. “Why yes, Mr. Fehr, you are bugging me,” she said out loud to no one. She rolled her eyes and picked up the vase thinking she would once again deposit them in the office with Shuralee, but half way down the hall she changed her mind. These were too lovely and fragrant to give away. She put them in her office. Shuralee noticed and smiled realizing Oded was starting to get though that tough shell Dr. Bettinger had wrapped herself in. At the end of the day Abby rode home, the orchids wrapped in paper in her basket. She parked her bike and saw another box on her front step. She smiled. 'Now what?' she thought. She peeked over at his place but his car was not out front, she didn't know when he had left the gift but he wasn't home now she realized. Finally able to let her guard down she leapt up the steps like a little girl at Christmas, excited to open the present. She hurried in the house and this time tore into the box without even taking off her coat first. It was filled with music CDs, each with a note. She sat at the table pulling them out one at a time. Finding a longer note on the top of the first one. "A, For the last few days I have found myself constantly bombarded with songs that make me think of you. If they are going to be so distracting for me, I think it's only fair they be distracting for you too. Each CD is marked, play each one and see if you can figure out what makes me think of you. It's a little game I like to call, "Distract Abby and maybe she'll realize she can't live without you." Come back to me. O" She pulled the pile of CDs out quickly looking through them. She chuckled finding some she recognized including one that was a 60s compilation making her curious. She set them all on the table and took off her coat. She was torn about what to do. She was curious as hell about what he had come up with, but part of her knew she was letting him too far into her head by blindly allowing him to control her like this. She took off her coat and went to put the Orchids back in some water, setting them on the counter in the kitchen. She pulled together dinner, ignoring the music that sat on her table, deciding she would not listen to his silly songs. It wasn't her fault he was being distracted by love songs, she thought. She didn't need to be distracted too. She cleaned up the kitchen, walking by the dining room table over and over; feeling pulled back to the CDs that sat so deliciously tempting in front of her. "No," she said out loud. She put them back in the box to get them out of her sight. She went to take a bath, soaking in the tub for an hour. She called her mom but found herself listening to the conversation with not much to say. She didn't want to drag her mother into the Oded dilemma considering how long it would take just to get her mom up to speed on what all had happened. She cut the conversation short thinking she would head up to bed. She went up to brush her teeth and saw his T-shirt on the chair by her bed where she had tossed it this morning. She hesitated thinking it had been a mistake to let herself indulge in the fantasy of wearing it to bed last night. But she couldn't help it; once again she pulled it over her head, having to work harder to pick up the intoxicating scent of him in the fabric. It was already starting to fade, masked by her own smell. It was starting to smell more floral and she frowned disappointed that she didn't have the chance to indulge her fantasy again. She climbed under the covers; the open box of music that she knew was sitting downstairs working it's way into her psyche. "Oh I can't stand this!" she yelped, climbing back out of bed. She realized, just like last night, that she had almost no will power when it came to this man. She pulled on socks and headed downstairs grabbing the box as she headed for her living room where the stereo was. She plopped down on the floor sitting with her legs crossed as she gave in and pulled out the first one- She read the note on the front. "A Play track # 10. I hope you laugh. I'd even learn to like ice cream if you would share it with me. O" She smiled, she knew this song, she actually owned this and she looked at her rack of music seeing, Sarah McLachlan- Fumbling Towards Ecstasy on the top. But she decided to play along with his game and she opened his CD and turned on her stereo to play it. She wanted to hear the words again. "Your love Is better than ice cream. Better than anything else that I've tried And your love Is better than ice cream Everyone here knows how to fight And it's a long way down It's a long way down It's a long way Down to the place where we started from. Your love Is better than chocolate Better than anything else that I've tried And our love is better than chocolate. Everyone here knows how to cry" She sat on the floor in her living room laughing holding the liner notes in her hand. Remembering the ice cream kiss he had tortured her with so intensely. She didn't think she'd ever be able to eat ice cream again and not think of him. She pulled out the next two CDs taped together. She found Crash and Everyday by The Dave Matthews Band with a long note. "A I think I could find something to remind me of you in every song. I've picked a few from these. Let's start with "Two Step"- Track #2. How can I not think of you when I hear: "Say, My Love, I Came To You With Best Intentions You Laid Down And Gave To Me Just What I'm Seeking Love, You Drive Me To Distraction" (Oh yeah, that's right... sorry... I'm the one distracting you aren't I) "Hey My Love Do You Believe That We Might Last A Thousand Years Or More If Not For This? Our Flesh And Blood It Ties You And Me Right Up Tie Me Down Celebrate We Will Because Life Is Short But Sweet For Certain We're Climbing Two By Two To Be Sure These Days Continue, These Things We Cannot Change " (Abby we cannot know the future, why can't we live for today. Life is too short to not accept the happiness we find with each other.) Now play Track #3- Crash. It's the last verse that gets me the most my Xatixa. "Oh I Watch You There Through The Window And I Stare At You You Wear Nothing But You Wear It So Well Tied Up And Twisted The Way I'd Like To Be For You, For Me, Come Crash Into Me" (I first fell for you when I saw you through my window. The brief chances to see you in the shower, to find you cooking in the kitchen. To watch you bite into the nectarine that very first afternoon. And today- my T-shirt never looked as good on me as it looked on you this morning.) She gasped and looked down at herself and then out her window towards his place. It was dark and he wasn't home. She blushed then smiled as she felt the familiar heat invade her. She thought of seeing him come down that Sunday morning in his boxers and how she had dived to the floor in horror of being caught. Then the memory of calling him the night he made the surprise dinner for her and the look on his face when he saw her through the kitchen window. And she laughed at the memory of his face after she busted him for watching her in the bathroom. The note continued- now play Track #9: Lie in Our Graves- "I Can't Believe That We Would Lie In Graves Wondering If We Had Spent Our Living Days Well I Can't Believe That We Would Lie In Graves Wondering What We Might Of Been I Can't Believe That We Would Lie In Graves Wondering If We Had Spent Our Living Days Well I Can't Believe That We Would Lie In Graves Wondering What We Might have been" (Abby I could make you so happy. We will both live with regret all of our lives if you don't let us discover what we could be to one another.) Now play the last track on the second CD. Everyday- "Pick me up, oh, from the bottom Up to the top, love, everyday Pay no mind to taunts or advances I take my chances on everyday Left to right Up and down, love I push up love, love everyday Jump in the mud, oh Get your hands dirty with Love it up on everyday All you need is All you want is All you need is love. All you need is What you want is All you need is love." (Everyday we take chances. Why won't you take this one?) She listened to each song letting the tears roll down her face. What was she doing? Why was she fighting this, why was she fighting HIM? "It's just music," she angrily argued with herself. She wanted to get up and walk away from it. But she couldn't and she knew it. She pulled out the next one. A compilation of songs from the 60s. "A.... Couldn't help myself. Just goes to show you I think of you all the time. Play Track #1 Happy Together by the Turtles- “Imagine me and you, I do I think about you day and night, it's only right To think about the girl you love and hold her tight So happy together If I should call you up, invest a dime And you say you belong to me and ease my mind Imagine how the world could be, so very fine So happy together I can't see me lovin' nobody but you For all my life When you're with me, baby the skies'll be blue For all my life Me and you and you and me No matter how they toss the dice, it has to be The only one for me is you, and you for me So happy together Ba-ba-ba-ba ba-ba-ba-ba ba-ba-ba ba-ba-ba-ba Ba-ba-ba-ba ba-ba-ba-ba ba-ba-ba ba-ba-ba-ba" She laughed out loud at the silly song. He had also managed to find CDs for most of the songs he had heard on the radio the other morning and one by one she listened to each of them. Finally she pulled out the last CD. She had never heard of it before. She looked at the cover; the band was called Puddle of Mud. She read Oded's note. "A I could go on and on with these songs. I can't listen to the radio and not find more to send you. If I could find the one perfect song to get you to come back to me I would stand outside your door and sing it at the top of my lungs. But I can't read your mind Doc. I'm confused and I'm hurt and I miss you terribly. I've included only one more. Listen to Track #1- Blurry. I can't say it any better. O “Everything's so blurry And everyone's so fake And everybody's empty And everything is so messed up Pre-occupied without you I cannot live at all My whole world surrounds you I stumble then I crawl You could be my someone You could be my sea You know that I'll protect you From all of the obscene I wonder what you're doing Imagine where you are There's oceans in between us But that's not very far Can you take it all away? Can you take it all away? When ya shoved it in my face? This pain you gave to me Can you take it all away? Can you take it all away? When ya shoved it in my face? Everyone is changing There's no one left that's real So make up your own ending And let me know just how you feel 'Cause I am lost without you I cannot live at all My whole world surrounds you I stumble then I crawl Can you take it all away? Can you take it all away? When ya shoved it in my face? This pain you gave to me Can you take it all away? Can you take it all away? When ya shoved it in my face? This pain you gave to me" She listened to the song over and over. Letting it drone into her head. The poetry of Sarah McLachlan and Dave Matthews, the happy love song from the Turtles replaced with the intensely painful lyrics of Blurry. She thought to herself "Yes, Oded I could take away all your pain...but we can't hide from it forever." She shook her head and frowned, "My god... when did I become such a fatalist?" She needed to think about this. Maybe she should reconsider. Maybe she should be more optimistic. Maybe she should give this another chance. He pulled up in front of his place and saw her light on in the living room. He had stopped at the music store on his way into work and found all the CDs he needed. He had given Cheryl the box to deliver early this afternoon wanting it to be waiting for Abby when she came home. He had tried to get out of work earlier, hoping to be around for the evening, wanting her to at least have to deal with his presence. But things had gone late as usual and he was tired. He looked at his watch as he climbed out of his car, it was after midnight and to his surprise she was still up. When he had climbed the steps to his door he had glanced through her window but couldn't see her in front of the couch. In the kitchen he poured himself some orange juice, now trained by her to use a cup he realized, chuckling to himself. Then he saw the Orchids on the counter. He smiled; she had brought them home. This was a good sign. He went back to the dining room, again looking across the way into her townhouse and then he finally spotted her. She sat, her back against the couch, her eyes closed as she continued to listen to the music. He stood in the dark, fighting the urge to go knock on her door and then carry her up to her bedroom when she opened it, with or without protest. He was fighting the response of his body to seeing her so casual wearing nothing but his T-shirt and her fluffy white socks. His shirt had slid down her legs as she sat, her legs bent, pressed together at the knees as her calves splayed gently to her feet forming a triangle. He could tell she was listening to his music, the CDs he sent spread around her on the floor, she held the liner notes for one in her hands. Between the Orchids, his T-shirt and the fact that she was up so late listening to the music he had given her he felt a flush of confidence. She was coming around; he thought he now knew what would finally win her back. He stood and watched her until she finally finished, having to turn away from her when she leaned forward and crawled over to turn off the stereo. He had a full view of her body as she leaned forward, the neck of the T-shirt hiding very little and he felt that familiar surge of passion for her take over, making him close his eyes and take a deep breath to squelch the desire. He headed up to bed, stripping off his clothes and climbing under the covers, imagining her laying in her bed alone as he was in his. Hoping she was imagining the same thing and that it hurt her as much as it hurt him. After turning off the stereo and heading upstairs she lay in bed contemplating what to do. She considered option number one, give in to his courtship and try to rebuild the relationship. It was painfully obvious that this is what he wanted, and she wasn't sure she didn't want this too. Being a part of his life would certainly be the most romantic and certainly entertaining relationship she had ever had. She could just go with the flow, try not to analyze and second-guess everything and just see how far they could make it. The option was appealing but it wasn't in her nature. Her second option was to stick to her plan and keep her distance from him. Her arguments about why they should just walk away from each other now continued to reverberate in her head. Did she want to invest herself in this man truly expecting that this was not likely to last forever? She wanted a husband and she wanted children. She was already thirty-two. Undoubtedly having Oded as her lover and boyfriend would be delightful. But if it wasn't going to work out in the long run would she be better off cutting her losses and making herself available to men whom she actually thought stood a chance at being around to play Daddy? Guys like Jeff. She rolled her eyes and sighed. Okay maybe not Jeff. But certainly somebody must be out there. If she was involved with Oded, whom she expected she had no future with, would she then be unavailable for the possibility of something more fruitful? No relationship is guaranteed to survive she reminded herself. But she had to be honest; she at least needed the reassurance that the possibility existed. And with Oded that possibility was slim. She loved him but she couldn't count on him being with her forever, she wouldn't expect him to, which meant she had to set him free and set herself free as well. She would return all the gifts tomorrow she decided. She had to stop this. She had to find a way to discourage him. On Thursday when the flowers arrived she was prepared this time. She declined them. She told the delivery boy to return them to the florist and to inform the sender that they had not been accepted. After he left she locked herself in her office and cried. She knew what she had just done was going to hurt him and it tore her up to do it. But she didn't think he was giving her any other choice. When Oded got the news from the florist he was stunned. It must be some mistake he thought. Why would she turn the flowers away? After what he had seen last night he thought he had turned a corner with her. He picked up the phone to call her. He had had enough and it was time to deal with this. But he got her voice mail and he hung up. If she was sending back his flowers he was pretty sure she wasn't going to return his phone calls. The time had come, he'd go talk to her tonight he decided, face to face even if it meant a fight. They deserved at least that. She went home early with the intention of dropping the box of gifts back on his doorstep. She found the newest gift in her mailbox before she went in her own door. It was a small box and with it was a letter. She sat on her couch holding both in her hands afraid to open them. She looked at the box turning it over and over in her hands. It was jewelry, she was sure of it. She was afraid it was a ring; it was the right size box for that. 'No, he wouldn't do that,' she tried to convince herself. A ring carries such tremendous meaning it's not something you leave in a mailbox. She had already gathered the other gifts and had them boxed on her dining room table. She put the letter from him unopened in the box, knowing it would kill her to read his words and then have to slap him in the face with it. But she still held the jewelry box. She at least wanted to see what was inside. She gingerly opened the tape at the corner trying not to tear the paper. Once the box was unwrapped she set it on the table taking a deep breath before she could lift the lid. When she did she gasped. She saw before her a beautiful set of emerald earrings. She recognized the style and the name of the jeweler immediately as the same woman who had designed the bracelet Oded had given her. He had tucked a little note inside. "A, The color and depth of the emeralds can not even compare to the color and depth of your eyes, but they remind me of you and the look of bliss I have gotten used to seeing on your face when I do something to make you happy. I hope this makes you happy. Ich hob der lieb. O" But she didn't look blissful and she didn't feel happy. She went upstairs and found the bracelet, now carefully tucking it into the box with the earrings. She had wanted to keep only this one gift from him, to allow herself the memory of the first night they had shared together. But it seemed clear to her now that returning the bracelet would carry more weight than all the other gifts. If she wanted to convince him she was serious she thought this would certainly do it. She placed the box with the jewelry in the larger box with the other gifts and looked outside. He was not home, so before she could second-guess herself she took the box to his door. Then she left, she got in her car and drove away afraid she would change her mind. She didn't know where she was going but her gut told her after declining the flowers and now returning the gifts she was about to light a fuse under Oded and she was afraid to see his reaction. She knew it was unfair not to face him, but she left none the less. He left work as soon as he could, intent on finally cornering her and having the long overdue conversation the two of them needed to have. He didn't know exactly what he would say, but he was angry enough to at least try, he couldn't just sit back and wait any longer. When he pulled up he noticed her car was gone, now frustrated that he would have to wait for her. He climbed the few stairs to his door and saw the box. His face dropped a look of forlorn sadness playing across his features. His pouty bottom lip sagging forward in utter dejection. He sat down on the step and pulled the box over beside him. He pulled out the letter, unopened, and set the earring box next to it. He was looking for something from her, some sort of explanation. But there was nothing. She had returned all of the gifts with no word. He sat with his head in his hands, running his long fingers through his hair. He grabbed the jewelry box to look at the earrings and when he opened it the bracelet fell out into his hand. He held it in his fingers, feeling the tears well up in his eyes. She was denying everything. She didn't even want the memory of them together. He sat for a long time the tears running down his cheeks. He swallowed hard. He stood, throwing the jewelry box back into larger box. He picked up all the gifts and unlocked his door finally heading inside. After regaining some level of composure he picked up his cell phone and called the show's producer. "Shane, is there still room on the press junket for me?... Good, when do we leave?" ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Neighbors - Chapter 34 |