Home // Ardeth Stories // Antoine Stories // Oded Stories // Character Stories // UC Stories

Old Flames

by Montana Rose

I want to dedicate this story to Ladybug, for it wouldn't exist without her. She pulled this story out of me with a chainfall, and I will forever be grateful for her friendship. - MT Rose

Disclaimer: This story is pure fiction! There is no real person named Kathy Engler (as represented in this story) and she doesn't know Oded. ;-)

This story is rated R

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Chapter 1

      Kathy Engler strode across the sun-bathed kitchen to fetch the toast that had just popped up. She pulled it out of the toaster and dropped the slices onto the waiting plates, hissing lightly and waving her fingers through the air as they burned her skin. Brad Swanson emerged from the bathroom, fastening the top button of his white Oxford shirt. He headed for the coffee maker and filled their coffee mugs, snapping the lids on tightly, as she slathered the toast with raspberry jam. There was an urgency in the air as they were both running late, and they ran about their morning routine quickly. She glanced at him as he took a piece of toast from her and she smiled. He had a dab of shaving cream on his earlobe. She reached up and wiped it away affectionately with her fingers. He returned her smile as he stuffed the final bite of the toast in his mouth.
      “Gotta go,” he said after he washed down the toast with a swallow of coffee.
      She nodded. “I’m right behind you,” she answered, wolfing down her own toast. She placed the dirty plates in the sink and wiped her hands on the kitchen towel to get rid of any crumbs. She admired his sandy blond hair and light blue eyes with a lover’s eye as he leaned over and kissed her lightly. She could taste the sweetness of the jam on his lips.
      “Don’t forget, we’re meeting Staci and Jeff for dinner tonight at Versailles,” he reminded her.
      “Seven o’clock,” she confirmed. He nodded.
      They grabbed their individual briefcases and headed out the door, Kathy locking it behind them. They went to their own cars, gave each other a final wave, and drove off to their jobs, which were at different companies in opposite directions.

      Kathy reflected on her life in the last nine months as she managed the morning traffic. She had moved from Idaho to Santa Monica after graduating from college. She had landed a good job at a small company that specialized in computer repair and maintenance for individuals on up to midsize companies. She liked the variation of things that she did and the chance to drive to different places to do the jobs. She didn’t think she could take sitting in a cubicle for eight hours a day. She got to drive around in the beautiful California weather and work with different people every day.
      She hadn’t been in town very long before she had met Brad Swanson at a computer training seminar. He worked for a larger company that had their own IT department. They were both computer fanatics, so they hit it off immediately. In the next six months their relationship grew. It was the first serious relationship that Kathy had had in five years. Brad was nice. He was steady and predictable. He was very good-looking, with his Scandinavian heritage. They could talk computer-ese until the sun went down. Then they had decided to take the next step and move in together. She smiled as she remembered both of them bringing together their partially dismantled computers, miles of wire, and boxes of tools into their new home. It kind of summed up her idea of their relationship: between the two of them, they could have a whole relationship that ran, where separately they were just individual components.
      That was three months ago. Since then things had gone fine. They never argued. True, Brad didn’t necessarily get her heart all aflutter, but she didn’t think that was all that important, or even realistic. That was for the romance novels. It was hard to get all aflutter about a guy that would ball his socks before he would ball her. But that was ok. Nobody was perfect. They enjoyed each other’s company, and that was what was important. It was with these thoughts in her mind that she drove into a new day which was to take her life into a whole other direction.

      It was toward the end of the day when Kathy pulled up in front of the condo complex and parked. It was another beautiful sunny day in Santa Monica, and she couldn’t help but stop and admire it for a moment. She turned off her car and gazed out the windshield at the crisp white of the stucco on the buildings and the vibrant green of the landscapes with a smile. She still couldn’t get used to her surroundings after living in Idaho her entire life.
      When she had her fill of the scenery, she looked down at the clutter in her passenger seat. Her cell phone, briefcase, clipboard, and assorted other items covered the seat and overflowed onto the floorboard. She grabbed the handle of her large briefcase, laid it on top of everything else, and opened it. Inside were all the things she needed to do computer repair: floppy disks containing utilities, software CDs, various pieces of common hardware, and her tool kit. She threw her cell phone inside carelessly and closed it again, pressing on the latches with her thumbs. Then she fished out the clipboard, which contained all her work orders for the day. There was only one left. She glanced at it briefly, refreshing her memory.
      She read over the history of the client. The company that Kathy was employed by had serviced his computer before, but she had never worked on it herself. This time he seemed to be having a problem with it making noise when running. She skimmed through the rest of the information on the sheet, then paused when she noticed the customer’s name: Oded, no last name. Funny, she had known an Oded about five years ago. But it couldn’t be him. As far as she knew, Oded was still back in England. However, the name brought back a flood of memories.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Chapter 2

      It had been the summer between her freshman and sophomore years in college. Her best friend from high school, Michelle, had gotten married and moved to London where her husband had landed a plump job. Kathy had been planning on doing internships in the future summers, so she had figured if she was ever going to have a chance to goof off, this was going to be it. She had accepted her friend’s invitation to spend the summer with her. She had never traveled outside the U.S. before, so it was quite an adventure for her.
      She hadn’t been there very long before running into Oded Fehr, literally. Kathy and Michelle had gone to the grocery store and were walking back to Michelle and Paul’s apartment. They were both laden with groceries and chatting, laughing about a crazy stunt they had done back in high school. They walked around a corner, not watching what they were doing, and plowed into a tall man coming the other way. The collision knocked the groceries out of Kathy’s hands, who had taken the brunt of the force. She tried to hold on to the paper sack, grabbing frantically, but it fell to the concrete and spilled its contents, canned goods rolling every which way. Fortunately Michelle had been holding the sack containing the breakable items, and managed to hold on to it. Looking down at the groceries, Kathy cried, “Oh, shit!” Then she and Michelle looked up at the man they had run into.
      He was a tall, rather thin man, much taller than either woman. He had dark hair and features, with a moustache and goatee. He added an exotic flair to it by trimming his beard to a line along his jaw, accentuating it. He had a dismayed look on his face.
      “I’m sorry!” he exclaimed as he and Kathy bent to gather the items together.
      She waved a hand at him, holding a can of peaches. “Don’t be silly. It was our fault. We weren’t paying attention.”
      She dropped the can back into the sack. He snaked out with his long arms, gathered the other cans and placed them into the sack as well. They looked up from the collected items and at each other, still squatting on the pavement. Kathy gazed into his eyes and was immediately lost. She had never seen such intense eyes before, a dark mahogany brown. You could easily mistake his look for someone who was extremely pissed off, except when he smiled, which he did, revealing amazingly white, straight teeth and creating dimples that made her heart skip a beat. She seemed to be hypnotized.
      He reached out a hand. “My name’s Oded,” he greeted in a strange accent, something mixed with a little British.
      She took his hand lightly. “Kathy,” she replied. That seemed to be all she could say.
      Oded picked up the sack and stood up. She followed suit.
      “Well, the least I could do would be to carry these for you. I don’t think this sack will take much more abuse. Do you live around here?”
      “Ya, right-,” Kathy started, then Michelle interrupted her.
      “That’s ok, Oded. We’ve got it. Thanks anyway.” Kathy looked at her, a little startled. Oded handed the sack back to Kathy, looking a little nonplussed at Michelle’s abruptness. She took it, carefully bracing the bottom with one arm, which was sagging a little.
      Michelle tugged on Kathy’s shirtsleeve, signaling to leave. She followed reluctantly. She threw a glance back over her shoulder. “Nice to meet you, Oded,” she called. He raised his hand in return and flashed that smile at her again.
      As soon as they were out of earshot, Kathy asked, “What was that for?”
      Michelle looked at her with a motherly frown. “Kath, this isn’t Idaho. You are in a big city. You don’t go around having complete strangers follow you home. That’s a classic ploy, running into us like that. They offer to carry your stuff home for you, then come back late at night and break in and rob the place, or god knows what else.”
      Kathy looked dismayed. “But he looked like a nice guy. Good looking, too.”
      “What, you think burglars can’t be good-looking? All the easier to win women’s confidence, my dear.”
      “Oh, alright. I guess you know what you are talking about.”
      “I do.”
      It wasn’t long before their topic returned to their flaming youth, and the laughing resumed.

      It was a couple days later when Kathy was walking down the same sidewalk with a sackful of warm bagels from a neighborhood bakery. It was early in the morning, and she wasn’t fully awake yet. As she was moving past a newsstand, she heard that strange accent call out her name. She turned to see Oded, a newspaper folded in one hand. He stepped toward her and smiled. She couldn’t help but return it, although she did feel a little nervous, remembering Michelle’s admonishing.
      “Hi there,” he greeted.
      “Hi, Oded.”
      Uncomfortable silence.
      “How are you doing? I hope I didn’t hurt you the other day, running into you like that.”
      She smiled a little wider, becoming more at ease. “No, I’m fine. However, I think one of those giant fruit cocktail cans fell on my foot.” He winced, then smiled back and chuckled.
      “I’m sorry for rushing off like that,” she offered.
      He turned serious. “That’s ok. She was right. You don’t want complete strangers following you home.”
      She gave him a surprised look. “You heard that?”
      His smile returned. “No, but I thought the same thing right after I offered. It didn’t sound good.”
      “I thought it was nice of you,” she replied. She was delighted to see his cheeks redden a little in embarrassment.
      A little more uncomfortable silence.
      Kathy couldn’t stand it for long. “So, do you live around here?”
      Oded looked at her with a raised eyebrow. “Why? ‘You trying to break into my flat, lady?” She laughed aloud, covering her mouth with her free hand.
      “No, just curious.”
      He smiled and tossed his head in the direction behind her, causing his collar length curly hair to sway slightly. “I live that way a few blocks.” He looked back at her. “Are you living here or just vacationing?”
      “I’m just here for the summer. I’m staying with my friend Michelle and her husband. Then I’m going back to school in the States.” She paused. “What about you?”
      “I’m going to school here.”
      “Oh, what are you taking?”
      “Acting. I’m going to the Bristol Old Vic Theatre School.”
      “Never heard of it,” she said, smiling at him.
      “Well, it’s a very famous school. I’m very fortunate that I was able to get in,” he replied importantly with his own flirtatious smile. “Where are you going to school?”
      “Idaho State University.”
      “Never heard of it.” They both broke out laughing. When it died down, Oded looked at her with his intense eyes. “Would you like to go out sometime?”
      Kathy felt a moment of unease, once again thinking of Michelle’s warnings. She was at a loss for words. He seemed to pick up on it. He stepped back to the newsstand and grabbed a pen from the vendor, then tore a piece from the newspaper he had been holding.
      “Here,” he said half-jokingly. “This is my name, address, and telephone number. Run it through Scotland Yard, if you like.” He handed it to her, and she smiled.
      “I don’t think that will be necessary. You look trustworthy.” He returned her smile. She thought about it for a moment, then gave in.
      “Yes, I would like to go out. What did you have in mind?”
      He looked slightly embarrassed. “Well, I’m living off student loans, so I’m afraid I can’t do fancy dinners or anything like that.”
      She nodded. “I know how that is, believe me.”
      “I’ve been rehearsing for a play almost every night. If you don’t mind watching, we could go out and grab a greasy burger afterwards.”
      She smiled. “Now how can I refuse an offer like that?” He chuckled in a deep voice.

      That was the beginning of their relationship. Michelle gave Kathy a bad time at first for picking up strangers off the street, but before long she and her husband Paul became friends with Oded, and they were doing things as two couples. Kathy and Oded quickly fell in love. They spent every spare moment together. He lived with two other roommates, so most of the time they spent out on the town, doing the cheap tourist things that most college students do. She was impressed as she attended most of his rehearsals. He had a charisma up on stage, bringing his intensity and passion fully into the open. She couldn’t take her eyes off him. All his friends told him he was going to be the next Omar Sharif, and she tended to believe them. He was the only one up on the stage that seemed fully alive. He was vibrant.
      He showed his passion toward her as well. They couldn’t get enough of each other. Sitting in her car in warm Santa Monica, Kathy smiled wistfully as she remembered them making love in the prop room of a local theatre, against a wall, between two mannequins that kept watch. Another flash of them in the back seat of his roommate’s car, parked on a dead-end street, whispering the other’s name. The place didn’t matter. Nothing else existed but the two of them.
      They continued like that all summer. Kathy couldn’t have been happier. But there was always the realization that she would have to leave when August arrived. It lurked around them like a summer thunderstorm on the edge of the horizon. They both tried to ignore it, but they knew it would arrive eventually. And it did.
      The week before she was due to leave, Kathy and Oded decided they couldn’t ignore it any more. They talked about it, and it felt like someone was twisting a dull knife into her heart. They were both very committed to their schooling. It was something that they needed to do. They talked briefly about a long distance relationship, but were realistic enough to know that it probably wouldn’t last. They were both poor college students, and international calls and letters weren’t cheap. And who knew where either one of them would end up after graduating? Reality came crashing in to their little cocoon as they slowly conceded that their relationship wasn’t meant to be. They spent as much of that last week together as they could, but it was no longer joyful. Even their lovemaking seemed almost physically painful, and often both would end up crying.
      On the day she was to leave, she said her goodbyes to Michelle and Paul at their apartment, and Oded drove her to the airport in his roommate’s car. Their ride was silent. Kathy thought she could still smell the musk of their lovemaking in the interior of the car, but it may have only been her imagination.
      He walked with her all the way to the gate and waited with her until her flight was called. They didn’t need to talk. There was nothing left to say. They just kept in constant physical contact, touching hands or putting an arm around the other.
      When Kathy heard her flight announced, she stood up and drew the strap of her overnight bag over her shoulder, then trudged over to the gate. She gave her ticket to the stewardess, then turned back to Oded. There were tears standing in their eyes. They stepped toward each other and kissed softly. She placed her hand on the back of his neck, feeling the soft texture of his hair brush against it. She broke the kiss and stepped back. She thought her heart was dying. She couldn’t stand to look in his eyes. She wouldn’t be able to keep her resolve if she did.
      “Goodbye,” she said, and turned and walked down the tunnel to her plane. Never had a word seemed so final. Her last glance of him was permanently burned into her memory. For the rest of her life she would be able to pull it up at a moment’s notice, the vision of him standing in the waiting area, his shoulders slumped, the fire in his eyes snuffed out. He looked as if he had died.

Her first semester back in school was miserable. She couldn’t think straight, she couldn’t concentrate. She was in a perfect funk of depression. She would sit in class, the professor’s voice trailing off to a drone, wondering what Oded was doing, how he was doing. Consequently her grades took a dip. But by the time Christmas vacation rolled around, she was slowly beginning to heal. Over the next year or so she occasionally got letters from Michelle saying she had run into Oded on the street, and that he seemed to be doing fine, if not a little sad. However, the friendship that they had formed over that summer had unraveled. Neither Michelle nor Kathy blamed him. It would be too painful to be around Michelle and Paul with Kathy missing. Her ghost would be hanging overhead, ever reminding him of her absence.
Every time Kathy received a letter from Michelle she almost dreaded it, hoping she wouldn’t say anything about Oded. Each time she did it seemed to rip open her old wounds, and she would have to grieve all over again. But eventually she stopped mentioning him. Her final note about him was that she hadn’t seen him in a long time. He must have moved on. Kathy breathed an almost guilty sigh of relief. She had a hard enough time getting over him without those constant reminders. Finally she was able to get over him, to not cry every time she thought of that summer. But it took a long time.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Chapter 3

      Five years later, as Kathy sat in her Nissan gazing down at her work order, she felt that old familiar ache in her heart. But it wasn’t a sharp pain anymore. It was like an old battle wound, acting up when a storm was due to blow in. It only flared up once in a while. She had to almost physically wrench herself from her memories and back into the present. She brought her mind back to the job at hand, ticking over the things in her head that she might need for this repair.
      When she figured she had everything, she grabbed her briefcase and clipboard and got out of her car. She gazed at the condo building, admiring it. It was a nice setup, in a fairly well to do neighborhood. Maybe when she got rich and famous she could live in something like this. She chuckled to herself. She didn’t think she had to worry about getting rich and famous repairing computers.
      She strolled down the sidewalk that weaved around the carefully sculpted lawn and flowerbeds, not thinking much of anything, looking at the doorways until she came to #5. She walked the few steps to the entry and rang the doorbell, quickly glancing at her work order again. She put on her professional smile as she heard footsteps on the other side of the door.
      The door opened and she went into her spiel. Her eyes trailed up the body of the man that answered as she did so. He was a tall man, broad across the torso, wearing a t-shirt and jeans, barefoot.
      “Hi! My name is Kathy and I’m from-.” Her words died in her throat as her eyes rose to his face. She gazed into his eyes and was immediately lost.
      “Oh my god,” she mumbled, the words spilling out her mouth in a rush. She felt all the blood fall out of her face. All of her insides seemed to have frozen into a solid block of ice. His hair was still the same length, although it was now wavy instead of the tight curls she remembered. He was clean-shaven, no longer having the moustache and goatee. He also no longer looked like a starving actor. He had built up his body, his broad shoulders and chest creating a tight V to his slim waist and hips. He had gained a few more laugh lines over the years, and maybe a few gray hairs at his temples. He could have passed her on the street, and she wouldn’t have recognized him. Except for his eyes. His eyes were still the same incredibly expressive chestnut, and the intensity was still there.
      Oded had the same expression of shock on his face as Kathy. He was totally speechless. He was expecting the usual technician, Bob, to work on his computer. This definitely wasn’t Bob. He felt his jaw come unhinged as he stared at her. Her long brunette hair was now cut shoulder length and framed her face with its body. Other than that she hadn’t changed. But he had recognized her voice before he even recognized her face. As soon as he heard her speak he had a moment of total recall. He could hear her in his head, whispering his name and reciting a line from a Shakespeare play. His body reacted with a violent shiver that traveled down his spine. He closed his mouth with a snap and found his voice.
      “K-K-Kathy?” he stammered.
      She stood there, still frozen in place. “Oded? Oh my god, Oded?” Neither of them knew what else to say, could not think of what else to say.
      “Oh my god,” he echoed. They both stood still as statues, not sure of what to do next.
      Finally Oded’s mind went into gear. “You’re the tech that DDC sent me?”
      She nodded, still in shock.
      “Oh my god,” he repeated. It took him a minute, then he realized he was still standing in the doorway, blocking her entry. He had to physically wrench himself out of his stupor. “Oh god, I’m sorry, Kathy. Come in.” He backed up and waved her in. For a moment Kathy wasn’t sure her legs were going to work, but she managed to unglue her feet from the concrete entry and step inside.
      Once inside, they couldn’t seem to take their eyes off each other, trying to convince themselves that this was really happening. Then Oded broke into a smile, bringing out his dimples. “What are you doing in Santa Monica?”
      That smile didn’t help Kathy gather her wits any. She was still in shock. “I, uh, work here.” Then she thought about it for a moment. “What do you mean, what am I doing here? What are you doing here? I thought you were still in England.”
      He leaned up against a table that was up against the wall of the foyer. “Oh, I moved here 2, 3 years ago. I graduated from Old Vic and came to Hollywood to make my fame and fortune.” His smile broadened at his own joke.
      She tore her eyes away from him long enough to look around his condo. It was nicely decorated, with comfortable, overstuffed furniture and area rugs, all in dark earth tones. “Well,” she said. “You must have done pretty well.”
      “I’m doing ok,” he answered.
      There was an uncomfortable silence as they stared at each other.
      “Oh my god,” Kathy repeated. “I can’t believe this.” She finally smiled, and her hand crept up to her mouth, feeling the smile like a foreign object.
      There was another drawn out silence as they both savored the flashbacks that were playing in their minds. She couldn’t help but admire his physique. She couldn’t believe it, but he had managed to get even more attractive in the last five years. He kind of makes Brad look like a used mop, she thought, then berated herself for it. The thought flashed across her brain before she could stop it. That snapped her out of her appreciation of Oded. She remembered who Brad was. She could feel the weight of her briefcase again, reminding her of why she was here.
      “So, I understand you are having problems with your computer,” she said.
      This seemed to shake him out of his own reverie. “Huh?” he asked. “Oh, yes, that! I am.” He pushed himself off the table and began walking through the open living room. “Follow me. My office is this way.”
      As Kathy fell in behind him, she couldn’t help but notice that he hadn’t said “our” office. She catalogued it for later consideration. She also subconsciously gazed around the rooms, looking for signs of a woman’s hand, or maybe pictures of a wife and kids. She didn’t see any. She told herself she was just admiring his furnishings.
      She followed Oded down a short hallway into his office. It was originally a spare bedroom. In it were a tall filing cabinet, an antique lawyer’s bookcase, a couple newer bookcases (all of which were jammed with books of all sizes and shapes), and a large wooden desk with the ailing computer sitting in the center. The desk was up against the far wall, next to a window that gave a pleasing view of a back courtyard. She sat down in the leather office chair and set her briefcase on the desk next to the machine. She tried to get down to business, but it was hard. Oded stood behind her, and she was all too aware of his presence.
      “Um, what was the problem again?” she asked.
      She heard his voice float down from above her. She had never known anyone else with that accent, and hearing it again sent her back five years. It could have been fog-covered London outside instead of sunny Santa Monica, for all of her.
      “It makes a terrible noise when you start it up,” he said. “It began just the other day. I’ve been afraid to run it since then.”
      She leaned toward the computer and punched the power button. As it powered up, it started to make an awful mechanical caterwauling. She opened her briefcase, took out a screwdriver, then stood up and pulled the CPU carefully toward her. She could almost feel his gaze on her as she leaned over the desk and began unscrewing the cover. She seemed to have a hell of a time getting the screws out. The tip of her driver was jittering.
      Kathy finally managed to pull the cover off and look inside the computer. She reached a hand in carefully, pressed on something with her finger, and the noise quit. She let go, and it started again.
      “Ya, it’s just your main cooling fan. No big deal. They go out a lot,” she told him as she looked up at him.
      “Oh, good,” he replied.
      She looked at the brand name on the front of the case. “How long have you had this?”
      “About six months, I guess.”
      “Ok, well, this will still be under warranty, and we are a service center for this company. I can order a new fan and replace this one in a few days. In the meantime, you can still run it like this. It’s when the noise stops that you want to worry, because then it has died.” She paused. “If that happens, try not to run it, because you might overheat it.” She felt like she was babbling. She began to screw the cover back on.
      He seemed a little too cheerful about her having to return later. “Oh! Alright,” he replied. She paused and looked up at him, trying to gauge the meaning behind it. His cheeks reddened a little, and he tried to smile innocently. She left the moment alone, since she didn’t know what to do with it anyway.
      She finished tightening the screws, then scooted the CPU back where it was and powered the computer down so that neither of them had to listen to the noise any longer. “I just need proof of purchase for the company, then I can get that ordered for you.” She was trying to be all businesslike, but it was difficult. Having Oded in front of her again after five years seemed to drown everything else out. She kept having flashes of that summer, things that she hadn’t thought of in years, things that she had almost forgotten. Even the smell of him seemed the same. She unconsciously inhaled, savoring it.
      Oded seemed lost in his own recollections as well. It took him a second to realize she had spoken. “What? Oh, right!” He began walk toward her. Her heart began to beat faster. Her eyes widened. She stood frozen in place. He approached her and stopped. “I have to get to the, uh, filing cabinet behind you,” he said, pointing over her shoulder. She felt her face flush in embarrassment. They both laughed nervously. Their laughter seemed false and tinny in her ears. Kathy stepped aside. As he searched through his neatly organized files, she threw her screwdriver back in her briefcase and closed it up.
      After a few moments of ruffling through the folders, he brought out a sales slip. He handed it to her. “Here you go,” he said. She took it with a slightly trembling hand. She grabbed her clipboard and slipped the piece of paper under his work order. Then she handed the clipboard to him. “Sign at the bottom, please,” she said. Her throat seemed dry. He took the pen that was held in place under the clip and scrawled his name on the work order.
      As he was doing this, she said, “I should be able to get the fan shipped to us by Thursday. How about I come out Thursday afternoon and install it? Say, 4 o’clock?”
      Once again, he sounded a little too eager. “That sounds fine. Great!” He handed the clipboard back to her.
      She smiled at him, and the uncomfortable silence entered the room again. They both stood there, looking at each other. The silence drew out excruciatingly. “Well,” Kathy finally said, perhaps a little too loudly. “I’ve got to get back to the shop and get this ordered for you.”
      “Oh, right!” he repeated. Both of them seemed to have lost most of their vocabulary. She picked up her briefcase and followed him back down the hallway. She found herself admiring his body against her will. It was making her extremely uncomfortable, the feelings that were coming up.
      When they reached the foyer, they stood motionless for a moment.
      “Well,” she said.
      “Well,” he echoed. They both laughed nervously again, that same phony guffaw.
      She put her briefcase down on the Spanish tile and reached her arms out to give him a hug. They embraced, one of those awkward ones where they kept their bodies as far away from each other as possible. One of those that seems reserved for past lovers only.
      “It was nice seeing you again,” she said. It was the only thing she could think of to say.
      “Yes, you too,” he reiterated. They broke the hug at the right moment, making it neither too long nor too short. He opened the door for her as she picked up her briefcase.
      “I will see you on Thursday,” she confirmed. He nodded and smiled. She walked out the door, and he shut it softly behind her.

      She managed to make it down the sidewalk and to her car, even getting in her car and driving off. But after two blocks reaction set in. Her hands started shaking uncontrollably. Her heart was slamming in her chest. She quickly steered the car over and pulled into a mini mall. She put the transmission in park and fell apart. She put her hands over her face and burst into tears. The old wound in her heart had been ripped open again and was bleeding freely. She hadn’t hurt this bad in five years. She almost hated Oded for making her feel this way again. Why did he have to show up now? She had been perfectly happy. Now everything was different. Why couldn’t he have just stayed out of her life forever? She had resigned herself five years ago that she was never going to see him again, and had learned to live with that knowledge. Now, within the span of time it takes to open a door, her life was off in a different direction. She didn’t like it.
      Kathy cried and released some of her hurt and anger until she was physically exhausted. She had never felt so tired. She sat and breathed deeply for a while, trying to recuperate, her forehead resting on the steering wheel. Then she sat up and looked in the rear view mirror. Her makeup had created dark hollows under her eyes. “Oh god,” she groaned. Fortunately she carried her makeup essentials in her glove compartment. However, it was usually reserved for nights that she had to work late. She never thought she would use it to clean herself up after a crying fit.
      As she retrieved the bag and began reapplying her makeup, she resolved to not bother Brad with any of this. It didn’t matter and would only upset him. He knew who Oded was. Kathy had talked about him, being the only other serious relationship she had been in. Brad was not the jealous type, but he would not like to see how upset this whole episode had made her. So she would deal with it on her own.
      After making herself presentable again and gathering her wits, she pulled back into traffic and went back to her shop to finish her day’s paperwork.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Chapter 4

      At first Kathy dreaded going back to Oded’s condo. She didn’t think she could take seeing him again. She considered having someone else finish the job for her, but couldn’t come up with a suitable lie for why she would want to switch. Then after a couple days she realized that she hadn’t tried very hard. After she got over her initial shock and anger, her old feelings for him began to surface again. They scared the hell out of her. But the seed had been planted in her head and was growing well. The first night she dreamed of Oded. It was mostly memory, flashbacks of them together. It woke her in the middle of the night. She struggled out of it and sat up, breathing hard. Her body was a stew of emotions: hurt, love, desire, joy. She looked over at Brad, a lump under the covers, curled up with his back to her. Nothing but a lock of blond hair showed. A flash of guilt ran through her. She laid back down and tried to get the images out of her head. After tossing and turning for a couple hours, she finally made it back to sleep.
      The second night she had the same dreams. They woke her again. She scrubbed her face with her hands, trying to get rid of the visions of Oded. This time her guilt wasn’t so great. She had heard that everyone has dreams about past lovers once in a while. It was no big deal. She got back to sleep sooner.
      The third night she woke up from her dreams with a pang of regret. She found herself enjoying them and didn’t want to wake up. She unconsciously tried to get back to sleep to continue the dreams. When the alarm woke her a couple hours later, she was able to tell herself that her feelings were part of the dream, that she didn’t really feel that way.
      During the day, she began subconsciously comparing Brad and Oded. She found herself thinking of Oded often and remembering their relationship that long ago summer. It was definitely a different relationship than what she had with Brad, but she wasn’t sure what that meant. Oded had become not only her lover, but her best friend. They knew everything about each other, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. She reflected on her thoughts that she had had of her relationship with Brad that morning before seeing Oded. She had compared the two of them as computer components, which together could create a machine that ran. With her and Oded, the two of them together were greater than the sum of their parts. They not only created a whole new entity, they created a whole new soul. Maybe that was why it seemed too good to be true, that its ending was meant to be. Nothing that vibrant could last forever. Vibrant colors always fade over time.

By the time Thursday rolled around, Kathy felt that she had her emotions understood and straightened out. She could go back to Oded’s and do her job and no more. All she had to do was fix his computer, leave, and he would be out of her life again. She would be friendly to him, but she was in love with Brad. That’s where her life was now. She wrote off his showing up in her life now as God having a twisted sense of humor.

      That afternoon Kathy marched down the sidewalk, her resolve firmly in place. She had a few butterflies in her stomach, but they were under control. She would do this and get it over with. She kept repeating these thoughts in her head, bolstering her courage as she reached his doorway. She knocked on the heavy wooden door and waited anxiously.
      Oded opened the door and her resolve weakened. She could give herself pep talks all day long, but as soon as she gazed into his eyes, all thoughts blew out of her head. He seemed a little more at ease this time and smiled warmly at her.
      “Hi, Kathy,” he greeted. “Come on in.” He stepped aside to let her in. She entered his home on wobbly legs. Now she wasn’t sure if she could do this. “Hi Oded,” she returned, her voice weak.
      He stood in the foyer after shutting the door behind her and gazed at her for a moment. She thought she saw that fire in his eyes that she had seen so many times before, but she wasn’t sure. If it was there, he had it under a tight rein. She felt like a gladiator that had just entered a cage full of lions with no sword. What the hell had she gotten herself into?
      He turned around and started toward the office, motioning her to follow him. She did. Getting out from under his gaze was a relief, but watching his body move down the hallway didn’t help much. He was wearing faded jeans and a t-shirt again, and the worn denim showed off his muscular ass well. The cotton material of his shirt was tight enough that she could watch his back and shoulder muscles shift from side to side. All the resolve in the world couldn’t keep her from admiring his body. She had a flash of that body on top of hers, moving slowly, feeling the warmth of it. The vision was so realistic that she had to bite back a groan.
      Finally they reached Oded’s office, and she was able to wrench her attention away from him and toward a neutral object, the computer. She quickly walked toward the desk and placed her briefcase on top of it, opening it and taking out the new fan and her screwdriver. She tried to ignore his presence and concentrate on the job at hand. She was doing alright until she started to unscrew the faulty fan from inside the computer and Oded moved closer, looking over her shoulder, trying to see what she was doing. She stopped what she was doing. The tip of the screwdriver wouldn’t steady. She stood up from leaning over the computer, causing him to do the same. He took a few steps back. “Sorry,” he said with a smile. “Just curious. I’ve never seen the inside of one before.”
      Kathy glanced at him. “That’s ok. It’s just a little, uh, distracting to have someone watch over your shoulder.” She never did lie very well, and she dropped her eyes from his. She went back to the computer, but first she wiped her palms on her pants. They seemed damp all of a sudden.
      It took her longer than usual but she got the fan replaced, the computer back in one piece, and fired it up. It hummed quietly. Oded grinned at her. “Great! Thanks! That thing was driving me nuts.”
      “Sure, no problem,” she answered. Her knees would give out on her if she looked at that grin much longer. His vibrancy and intensity were coming to light again, and she didn’t know how much more she could stand. She loved it and hated it at the same time.
      She quickly threw her screwdriver and the old fan into her briefcase. She had spaced the clipboard and left it in the car. Oh well, fuck it. She needed to get out of here. “I’ve got to get going,” she announced. “I have another appointment across town.” It was a lie, and his fading grin was overcome by a light look of suspicion, but he didn’t say anything. He just nodded and walked back to the foyer, exposing Kathy to another painful view of his body as she followed. And he’s so damn modest he doesn’t even realize what he’s doing to me, she thought to herself. That familiar knife blade slipped into her heart again.
      Oded stopped at the foyer and turned to her, his smile returning. She set her briefcase down and looked at him. God, she couldn’t get over it. Her body was becoming a storm of emotions again. She tried to get control of them, but it was a struggle. Of all the damn people to walk into her life again, it had to be him. She didn’t know whether to laugh, scream, or cry. Maybe all three at once. Then she took a deep breath, like a woman contemplating lifting a heavy load. The sooner she said goodbye, the sooner this torture would be over.
      “Well, it was nice seeing you again, Oded,” Kathy said awkwardly as she stepped toward him. As they embraced, he answered, “You, too.” He seemed to want to say more, and the silence was full of the possibilities. Their hug started out as the other had, uncomfortable and stiff. But as the seconds ticked by, neither one of them wanted to let go. She became aware of the length of time, longer than what was considered proper. Then he slipped his arms around her waist and drew her closer, holding her for real. She sighed and placed her arms around his neck. She could feel tears prick her eyes, and she blinked them back. He drew back his head and looked at her, that intensity that she remembered so well fully awake in his eyes. He lowered his head toward hers, and she knew what was going to happen, but there was nothing she could do to stop it. They were the only two people on the planet, and nothing else mattered.
      Oded pressed his full lips against hers softly, feeling each of them individually with his own. Then he inhaled lightly and slipped his warm tongue into her mouth, meeting her own. A million memories came back to her as he kissed her, a million sensations. She could feel his hair brush against her hands, and feel his body press against hers, so familiar. She could smell him, the mingling of his aftershave, his shampoo, and the musk of his own scent. Kathy responded to his kiss, encircling his tongue with hers, then trailing it across the smoothness of his teeth. He countered by pulling her even closer, straining his body against her. In that movement she could feel all his emotions.
      At that instant her brain chose to bring up a picture of Brad. It was like a dash of cold water on her, and she quickly stepped back from Oded, guilt overrunning all her other emotions.
      “Oh, god!” she exclaimed. “I have to get out of here.”
      Oded seemed to want to say something, but he was so shocked by the reality of the world around them coming home to him that he was speechless. Kathy picked up her briefcase and almost ran out the door as if the hounds of hell were after her. He stood rooted in his spot, still trying to deal with what had just happened.
      Kathy flew to her car, unlocking the door and carelessly throwing her briefcase onto the passenger seat. She turned over the engine and roared out of there, hoping if she drove fast enough she would leave the knowledge of what she did behind her. It didn’t work. Guilt gnawed at her stomach like a rat, but the other emotions were there as well. Her hormones were in turmoil. Her mind was racing, trying to think of what she was going to do. She turned on her radio, then turned it up loud, trying to drown out her thoughts. She was beginning to succeed and enjoy the song, which she had heard before. It was Santana, with Dave Matthews singing vocals. It was a sexy, sultry piece of music with a salsa backbeat. Then a line jumped out at her. She never realized before how much it sounded like he was moaning, in pain for his lover: I can’t forget the taste of your mouth. The emotions in that one line brought all of her own emotions to a head and almost overtook her body. She realized she could taste him in her mouth, and her body was wracked with shivers. She groaned aloud. It was the same taste that she had in her mouth five years ago, eons away. But she didn’t turn off her radio, and she relished the flavor of him for a long time.

      Kathy quickly went back to the shop to finish her paperwork. She was usually quite meticulous, but this time she just threw her belongings on her bench and decided to deal with it tomorrow morning. She grabbed her purse, punched out, then waved to her boss, Matt, as she went out the door. He looked a little surprised at her actions, but didn’t stop her.
      She drove home quickly, still trying to outrace her thoughts. As she pulled into their driveway, she noticed Brad’s car was still gone. She had gotten here a little earlier than usual, and he wouldn’t be home for another half hour or so. Long enough to get her shit together, hopefully. She felt like her guilt must be written across her forehead in day-glo orange letters.
      She unlocked the door and threw her keys and purse on the kitchen table, not stopping. She strode to the living room couch and flopped down, burying her head under one of the throw pillows. She just wanted to shut out the world for a little bit. She didn’t know what to do. Now that she was back home, everything around her reminded her of Brad. She had built up a life with him. And here was this piece of evidence, the taste of Oded’s mouth in hers, invading that life, that world. Her guilt was wrenching her heart.
      She gradually decided that the best course of action would be to tell Brad that she had seen Oded. She believed in honesty in relationships, and thought that he probably should know. He would know something was up with her anyway. Then she realized that she never had to see Oded again if she didn’t want to. She had finished the job. If he ever called to get his computer worked on again, someone else could go. Hell, Bob was his regular tech. She just happened to get all of his jobs that day because he had called in sick. Bob could go back there. She had managed to work at DDC for nine months and not know that Oded was one of their customers. It should be easy enough to keep away from him.
      It was not going to be easy telling Brad that she had run into Oded again. She couldn’t imagine telling him that they had kissed. She struggled with the idea for a while. She finally decided that although honesty was good, sometimes there was such a thing as being too honest. Sometimes being honest made things worse rather than better. Since she never had to see Oded again, nothing else could happen, and telling Brad about the kiss would only hurt him.
      She got her thoughts and feelings pretty well resolved by the time Brad got home. She heard him open the front door, then throw his briefcase on the kitchen counter. “Hi, honey, I’m home!” he called to her. She rolled her eyes. It was his idea of a joke, and it always made her feel like June Cleaver. Corny.
      He walked into the living room and sat down on the couch next to her. She smiled tentatively. He put his arm around her shoulders, pulled her toward him, and kissed her warmly. As she parted her lips and allowed his tongue to slip into her mouth, all of her emotions came rushing up again. She enjoyed the taste and feel of his mouth, but Oded’s was still there, and their essences mixed, creating a delicious torture. That song flitted through her mind again. She felt tears threaten at the reminder of what she had done. She tried to think of Brad, but her kiss with Oded was all that her mind could bring up. It made her heart ache.
      Kathy broke the kiss, not being able to stand her warring emotions anymore. She pulled back slightly and looked at him, trying to smile. It felt to her like a grimace.
      “Hi there,” she greeted. She brought her hand up and ran her fingers through the hair at his temple. He smiled back. “How did your day go?” she asked.
      He slipped his other arm around her waist and rattled on about his day. As he did so, Kathy prepared for her speech, trying to think of how to tell him. She didn’t even remember what he had said. When his words finally dried up, she took the plunge.
      “Well, the last couple days have been interesting for me,” she began slowly.
      “Oh really?”
      “Um, yes. I ran into someone that I haven’t seen in a long time.”
      He smiled, thinking of a high school or college friend. “Really? Who?”
      She held her breath. “Oded Fehr.”
      He stopped for a moment, the smile fading a little. “Your old boyfriend?”
      She nodded. His smile faded further, finally seeing some of the emotions on her face. “What happened?”
      She began her story, starting with going to his place to work on his computer, not knowing who he was. She talked about her shock, but glossed over most of her feelings, making them sound tamer than they actually felt. She also glossed over their final goodbye and created a whole new scene. They hugged, she said goodbye and left, happily skipping home to Brad. It made her feel a little dirty, and suddenly she wanted to take a shower and get this day behind her. Her guilt came flaring up again, and she found herself on the verge of tears again. Brad saw her chin tremble and gave her a hug. He assumed it was the hurt of seeing an old flame. It bothered him a little that seeing Oded would get to her like this. If he ran into an old girlfriend, he really wouldn’t care one way or another. But he shrugged inwardly, figuring that she would get over it.
      Brad pulled back and looked at her. “I’m sorry you’re sad,” he said.
      His being nice didn’t help her guilt any. She put on her smile again. “Thanks. I’m just glad I don’t have to see him anymore.” He smiled back. Before too long their conversation turned to more mundane things, and she had never been so grateful. Now she could move on with her life and forget this whole awful episode.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Chapter 5

However, over the next week she couldn’t forget it. She was tormented with dreams of that kiss, the feel of him against her. It nagged in the back of her mind, and she picked at it, like a sliver she had gotten in her finger, one of those you couldn’t see but which sent a zing up your hand every time you brushed against it. She tried to push it out of her life, but it refused to go. She found herself back where she was five years ago, after she had come back from London. Wondering what he was doing right now, if he was thinking about her. She had difficulty concentrating on her work. Computers seemed to be giving her more trouble than they usually did. People seemed to have a problem getting her attention.
Unfortunately, not only did she find the vision of kissing Oded hard to get out of her mind, she began to enjoy it, revel in it. It brought back so many fond memories. She found herself smiling for no reason. Once, Brad asked her what she was smiling about as she stood at the sink, washing dishes. Her heart constricted. “Uh, oh nothing,” she stammered. She felt her face flush, and mentally kicked herself. He gave her a puzzled look, then anger flared in his eyes. He left the kitchen.

      Then she almost made a serious slip as she and Brad were making love one night. She hadn’t been very affectionate toward him all week, her mind on her troubles. As they climbed into bed for the night, he moved his body against hers as she lay on her back and began fondling her breast through her nightshirt, gently rubbing her nipple with his fingertips. She inwardly groaned. For one of the few times, she wasn’t in the mood. But she knew she had been ignoring him, and her guilt made her go through with it. She tried to get into the mood, but wasn’t succeeding very well. His foreplay wasn’t doing much for her.
      Later, as he slipped into her and began creating that tantalizing friction that she usually enjoyed so much, her mind began to wander. And it made a direct beeline toward Oded. She ran her fingers through Brad’s hair as he lay his head in the crook of her neck, breathing heavily. Instead of its course texture, she swore she could feel thick soft curls. She looked at it, and its sandy blond color seemed to grow to a dark shade, not quite black. He lifted his head and looked at her, and his ice blue eyes were now an intense chestnut. His complexion darkened to almost olive. He kissed her passionately, and she tasted Oded. Suddenly she felt her orgasm start to build. She broke the kiss; she couldn’t catch her breath. He lay his head back in the crook of her neck, his own orgasm quickly approaching. She groaned as her climax approached, and ran her hands over his back and over his ass, urging him on. He responded by thrusting harder, sinking into her to the hilt.
      “Oh god,” she hissed. He groaned in her ear, his warm breath gusting against her skin.
      Her orgasm was just over the horizon, and it carried her away. “Oh god,” she repeated, louder. She clutched his flexing muscles, loving the feel of him as he made love to her. She closed her eyes, relishing the sensations. “Oh god, O-,” she cried, then choked on her words as she realized she had almost called out Oded’s name. Her eyes flew open. The realization was like cold water on her orgasm, smothering the flames to smoldering ashes. She quickly tried to recover. “Oh god, Brad,” she cried, although all her passion was gone. She felt his orgasm as his body clenched, driving himself into her. She went with it, pretending hers was roaring through her own body, when all she was feeling was panic. She had never had to fake an orgasm before, and she hated it.

She laid awake that night long after Brad had fallen asleep.

Old Flames - Chapters 6-8