"Outcast Scoundrel"
Copyright 2006 Penn O'Hara

F13

Usual disclaimers apply.

Follows immediately after "Hijinks Rogue".

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Previously on Zankou…

"Come, Zankou," Veronica said, swinging off the bed and walking toward him.  "We will leave now and receive the Charmed Ones blessing–"

"Good idea!" Phoenix snapped.  "They created this fiasco."  She thrust her finger at the young naked girl between them.  "They can sort it out!"

Remorse gripped Zankou, shrouding his vision with a thick haze.  A persistent thumping in his head spawned a dull ache that was intensifying.  "They had nothing to do with–  Phoenix!" he yelled, as his wife raised both arms toward them.

The haze cleared.  Gone was the familiar décor of his bedroom, replaced with the antique furnishings of the Charmed Ones' Manor den.

Zankou looked around at the shocked faces of at least half a dozen people gathered in the room.  His knees buckled in resigned horror, his bare ass hitting the carpet with a dejected thump.  "By the horned gods, I'm back," he mumbled, his head hanging between his knees.

The silence of the hushed room was broken by a cascade of gasps and a heavy sigh.

"Piper, get them some clothes," Leo said.

oOo

Continuing…

Phoebe reacted first, dragging her eyes from his naked limbs to pull the throw rug from the sofa and toss it over Zankou's head.  Bundling him in it, she yanked him to his feet.  "Paige!  Get Veronica," she ordered, pushing Zankou ahead of her and out the room.

Heart hammering from a combination of shock and anger, Phoebe watched Paige close the den door and guide Veronica up the stairs to the second floor, then she punched the closest part of a blanket-shrouded Zankou.  "How dare you corrupt Veronica!  How dare you come here again," she hissed, hitting him again.  "Uninvited!  Unclothed!  Those are important people in there!" 

"Do you think I care?"  Zankou's snarl was muffled as he battled the covering on his head.  "Do you think I want to be here?  Do you think I want to wear this… rag?"  He tossed away the throw rug and materialized his leathers onto his frame.  "I had no choice!" 

His eyes bored into hers.  Clothed or unclothed, Zankou in a rage fueled Phoebe's already racing pulse.  "Is this another trick?" she demanded, temper disguising her involuntary reaction to him.  "Because if it is–"

"No!  Phoenix has kicked me out.  For real!"

"If she found the two of you together like that, I'm not surprised!"

"It wasn't my idea."

Phoebe made a noise of disgust.  "Why should I believe you this time?  Why should I care?"

Zankou took a deep breath, some of the fury leaving his face.  "Because it looks like you're stuck with me again," he said, his voice calmer.

"Why?"  Mouth compressed, Phoebe threw her hands in the air and looked heavenward.  "Why here?"  She didn't need the temptation. 

"I'm still working on both of those issues and I don't have any answers."  Zankou paced the hallway, arms folded, his thumb pulling at his bottom lip.

"Something must have got to her," Phoebe said, her eyes following him.  She had to admit that Zankou spiced up their lives.  The evening had been tedious, sitting in on Piper's meeting with the Heritage Society in the hope of having the Manor heritage-listed.  Locking heads with Zankou not only relieved the boredom, but fired her senses and stimulated her mind.

"Or someone."  He jabbed his hand at Phoebe.  "Veronica."  Zankou started to pace again, then threw his hands flat against the wall, leaning into it, head bowed.  "Where is she, by the way?" 

"Upstairs with Paige.  You keep your hands off her!"  Phoebe bit her lip, remembering how close she had come to being seduced by him and how effortlessly he did it.  "And Veronica is the innocent here, you bastard!" 

He swung around, scowling.  "I went to bed alone.  I was woken by my wife and found Veronica in my bed.   I had no idea how the girl got there, nor why she thought she was even welcome."

"No idea, or no memory?"  Phoebe's eyes raked him in disgust.  "Did you get drunk?"

"No!"  Zankou straightened and in two strides was toe to toe with her.  Phoebe refused to retreat, but his face thrust in hers was disturbing.  "I fell asleep," he said, his tone measured.  "That's all.  I wasn't aware she was there till I woke up with Phoenix screaming at me."

Zankou's eyes narrowed then looked lower as if mesmerized by the rapid rise and fall of Phoebe's breasts.  Looking up, he grinned, a slow smile that told her he was fully aware of how he was affecting her.   Phoebe's chin tilted in defiance.  "You expect me to believe that when your own wife obviously doesn't?"

"I don't care what you believe."  His face inched closer to hers.  "But I know what you're–"

Paige hurried down the steps to join them in the hall, and Phoebe hastily took a step away from Zankou.  

"What's he doing here?" Paige demanded.  "I can't get anything out of Veronica except some babble about reuniting herself with her king!"

Phoebe jerked a finger at Zankou.  "He says Phoenix kicked him out because she found Veronica in bed with him."

"You bastard!"

"I'm sick of this character assassination!"  Phoebe flinched as he thrust up his arms as if to vanish, but nothing happened.  "Not again!" he groaned.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm stuck here again." 

"That's what you said last time!" Paige shrilled.

"Get out of here, Zankou!" 

"To hell with this!"  Zankou spun around and strode for the front door.  Pulling it open, he thrust his body forward and Phoebe half expected him to hit an invisible barrier like last time.  He must have expected it too, because he lost his balance as his momentum carried him over the threshold to tumble down the steps.

Phoebe raced after him and found him in a heap on the path below.  Rolling back onto his feet, Zankou dusted off his leathers to glare at her as she and Paige ran down the stairs.

"That proves you're not stuck here," Phoebe stated.  "You're not our problem.  Get lost."

Zankou shook his head slowly.  "I wish I could, but Phoenix has barred me from my own home.  You saw me try before."

Paige frowned, her face mobile with her thoughts.  "We owe Zankou nothing, Phoebe, but we have to help Veronica.  She must be under some spell of his to be so… so besotted!  Zankou has to reverse it."

"I've done nothing!  Veronica–" 

"–is only eighteen!  Why would she want to saddle herself with a demon like–?"   Phoebe stopped, biting back the insult.

"Oh, don't spare my feelings, witch.  Tell us what you really think of me.  But don't forget to tell Paige what you were doing to me in the bathroom last time I visited here."

"Phoebe?"  Paige gasped.

"Not now, Paige," Phoebe muttered, feeling the heat rise to her skin.  "I don't believe Veronica would have instigated this, Zankou."

"She did ask a lot of questions about him at Magic School," Paige said slowly.  "And told me she thought he was hot."

"As she would," Zankou emphasized, smiling broadly.  "I seem to recall you, my beautiful Phoebe, thought I was pretty hot in the shower."

Phoebe's lips thinned, sweat prickling the back of her neck.  "Maybe she is infatuated with you.  But if that's the case, we have to set things right.  She has to see sense and you…" she jabbed a finger in his chest "…no doubt want your wife's forgiveness."

"There's nothing to forgive!"

"The first thing we need do," Paige said, "is go see Phoenix and get her side of the story."

"No, Paige," Piper said from behind. 

Phoebe glanced over her shoulder at her sister standing at the top of the stairs looking down at them. 

"First you need to find a home for this rogue," Piper added.

Zankou pulled himself up straight and held out his arms to Piper.  "I'm all yours," he grinned.

oOo

Zankou paced the guest room, repeatedly looking out the window, waiting for Piper's guests to leave.  She'd allowed him back into the house on the condition he waited for her to see them off, but she was taking her time and Zankou's patience was running low.

It was another fifteen minutes before finally, the two guests walked down the path and headed downtown.  With a hot burst, Zankou appeared in the Manor hallway, directly in Piper's path as she returned from the front door.  Leo was behind her, a frown pasted on his face.

"I thought you'd never get rid of them," Zankou snapped.  "What was so important about them anyway?"

"None of your business," Piper clipped.

"Be like that.  Bitchiness suits you.  So now they've gone, let's play."

Piper thumped a hand into his chest and pushed him aside.  "No play.  Just talk.  What are we going to do with you?"

Zankou jumped in between Piper and Leo and accompanied them back into the den. "I can use the guest room and when Phoebe and Paige sort out Phoenix, I'll get on back home.  Simple."

"Why not just hang out in the Underworld?" Leo suggested, annoyance twisting his usually bland face.

"No way," Piper said quickly.  "Leave him down there to his own devices, and he'll start plotting more trouble.  No, I want him where I can see him until we can get him back under Phoenix' control."

"What makes you think I haven't been plotting while I was in Phoenix' good books?" Zankou asked, his sense of tease in full flight.

Piper stopped mid-stride and turned on him.  "My instinct tells me your wife has learned her lesson, even if you haven't.  She's the only one that can manage you, and has the intelligence to do it."  She kept walking, leaving Zankou momentarily without a comeback.

Paige and Phoebe quickly stood as he entered the den after Piper and Leo.  Zankou flashed a smile at them, but Phoebe merely scowled back while Paige moved closer to her sister, as if for protection.  Zankou raised an amused eyebrow.

"Paige and I are at a loss," Phoebe said.  "We can't think of any reason why Phoenix would want Zankou back now that she's got rid of him."

Zankou winced in mock reproof.  "Thanks ladies.  You do great things for my ego."

"I don't give a damn about your ego!"

"Phoebe," Piper warned.  "Paige, how is Veronica?"

"I escorted her back to Magic School but she wasn't very happy about it.  I've left her with the school nurse, who's assured me she's under no spell.  The silly girl really has fallen for Zankou.  Hard."

"I don't understand why you ladies are so surprised," Zankou grinned.  Despite his predicament, he was enjoying the witches' discomfort with this new dilemma.

Piper's gaze narrowed on him, and Zankou had to admit that, of the three, Piper was his toughest challenge.  She was the strongest, the most calm and used her marriage to Leo as a shield against his sex appeal.  He had yet to find the chink in her armor.

"Forgive me for being a non-believer here," Leo said, sarcasm heavy in his voice, "but we've already been down this road.  How can we be sure this isn't a trick like the last time?"

"Strange as it seems, I believe him now," Phoebe said, reluctant conviction adding weight to her statement.  "I'll bet when we go and see Phoenix, she'll be on the level too.  He really has done his dash this time."

"You are just going to have to convince your wife that she can't be without you, Zankou," Piper said.  "It isn't going to be easy."

"You weren't easy, Piper, but I still managed–"

Zankou was lifted to his toes as Leo grabbed his jacket collar and twisted, cutting off his words and his air supply.  The Whitelighter was stronger than he looked.  Zankou simmered but disguised his anger beneath an unconcerned smiling façade.

"As I was saying," Piper said smugly, no doubt pleased with her husband's show of force, "you're going to have to grovel and woo her back.  You should know how by now."

"I've never really had to–" Zankou's voice came out strangled and with difficulty, but he still wasn't going to give Leo the satisfaction of struggling.  Instead, he directed the essence of his heat to his neck, searing the Whitelighter's hand where it touched him.

Leo yelped and dropped him and Zankou allowed himself a look of loathing at the man as he smoothed down his coat. 

"How did you net her in the first place?"  Leo gritted, nursing his hand.  "If she's as intelligent as Piper says she is–"

"She is," Zankou said proudly.  "And what woman wouldn't–"

"What did you do on your first date?" Piper interrupted.  "We women like that sort of thing – recreating the first time."

"Date?" Zankou must have looked as perplexed as he felt.

"How did you two meet?" Phoebe asked wearily.

Zankou shrugged.  "At a demon orgy."

Phoebe's lip curled.  "Not my idea of romantic, but what happened?  Your eyes meet across the crowded room?"

"No.  Phoenix came up to where I was lying on the floor, hauled three women off me, and told me to go and shower."

Zankou looked sharply at Paige as the young witch choked, a hand grasping her throat.   "Are you all right?" he asked.

Phoebe coughed.  "What…what did you do?"

Zankou looked at her, confused by the question.  "I went and showered," he said. 

"Why would you go and do something a perfect stranger tells you to do?" Leo asked.

"Because she had an electric prod aimed at my–"

"Enough!" Phoebe ordered.  "This isn't going to get any better, is it?"

Zankou arched a brow.

"Right, well, skip the first date," Piper said.  "Second date.  She got your, er, attention.  How did you handle your second meeting?  You must have done something right, because she came back for more."

"Well… the second night she invited me back to her place and let me go home three days later, so yeah, I guess I was doing something right."  Zankou chuckled, enjoying himself more.

Paige spluttered, and Zankou tossed her a laden look.

"She wined and dined you?" Piper asked.  "Not the other way around?"

"No."

"No, what?"

"She didn't wine and dine me," Zankou explained patiently. "We just had three days and nights of sex."  He looked innocently at them.  Phoebe rolled her eyes, Piper's mouth twisted, Paige was staring at him, her eyes wide and lips parted and Leo looked disgusted.  Zankou was almost glad Phoenix threw him out, just for the opportunity of experiencing this moment.

Piper heaved a sigh.  "The next?"

Zankou shrugged.  "Phoenix found out where I lived, tossed a woman out of my bed – or was it two?–"  He tapped his bottom lip with his finger.  "Doesn't matter, I was otherwise engaged – and made me change the sheets."

"So what you're saying," Piper said slowly, "is Phoenix has totally run your relationship with you a willing passenger?"

"I guess so.  I attend to the more important things."

"Such as?"

"Terrorizing the do-gooders!"

Phoebe swore. 

"Why, if you are so powerful, did you allow this treatment?" Leo asked.

"Why?" Zankou rounded on the irritating Whitelighter.  "Because she's gorgeous, she's wild in bed and she handles everything, leaving me to please myself.  You could wish for life to be half as good, dear Leo." 

"Zankou, that is so… shallow," Paige said, her voice pained.

Zankou tipped his chin at her.  Poor silly Paige.  She really did wish that deep down he had a heart of gold.  "I'm a demon, Paige.  Last time I looked.  I don’t have to be… deep."  His gaze touched them all while they had nothing to say.

"That's our angle," Piper said at last, looking at her sisters.  "We turn Zankou into a multi-faceted cultured man, running on intelligence instead of brawn and temper."

"And sexual prowess," Zankou added.

"Shut up!" Leo ordered.  "Unless you've got something useful to add."  The man was finally losing his temper, providing Zankou with more amused satisfaction.  "Until you’ve got a better idea, listen to us and do as we say." 

Zankou thumped a hand against his chest in dramatic agony.  "You are going to reform me," he moaned.

oOo

More Scoundrel to come…