Slipping Further Away
By
-Mindi Carly
This story was written for those few people who have been there and done it, and searched ceaselessly for the happy ending that seems to come only in fairy tales. Here is your fairy tale ending my friends. This is also for a special few who renewed the hope of fairy tales.
Author’s Note:
I first began writing this story in August of 2001, prior to the events of September 11. At the time I stopped writing this story and left it behind. When I began writing again I had a decision to make on the contents of this story and 9/11. I needed to decide if I would include these events in this story or to leave them out. The decision weighed on my mind heavily for a few days before I made the choice to not include September 11, 2001 in this story, despite the time frame. In my mind’s eye to include those events was beyond the scope of my ability as a writer.
You may recognize the main female character’s name, however she is not me and I am not her, however I do have to admit that she is one of my favorite characters…these characters exist only in my mind where I created them, this is a work of fiction…all for fun!
Real tears distinguish real lovers from fakes.
-Al Mutanabbi
Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes, five hundred twenty five thousand moments so dear…
-Rent: Seasons of Love
Prologue:
Laila's Journal
Friday September 18, 2001 1:15 AM
I’m finally happy with my life, well almost. It’s hard to explain how I feel about Ahmed. It’s as if with him my life began and I became a complete person. When I am in his arms and look into his eyes I feel the contentment and peace that eluded me in my early years. And yet now here I am hours away from him and doubts are starting to cloud my thoughts.
And yet, I have never felt more alone than I do right now. There are so many things that I just don’t understand about what he does and I can’t talk to anyone about them. It makes it hard and I feel so alone in this situation, it feels so far out of my control. I can’t call up Reema and tell her about what Ahmed is doing. I can’t sit Ahmed down and say “Hey baby…ya know how I said I was okay with this? Well guess what, I’m not so sure that I am any more”. It wouldn’t be fair, and honestly it wouldn’t be the full truth. It’s not what Ahmed does that I’m not sure that I’m uncomfortable with, it’s more the repercussions that they can have on my family, friends, Ahmed and myself.
I’ve also started to notice that since I’ve been home, there is a part of me that isn’t looking in the shadows so much any more, a part of me that is more relaxed. Which is bad in a sense, because I know what the risks are and I’m afraid that I’m going to simply forget about the risks and that when the ball drops, which it will, I’m not going to be ready for it. And then what am I going to do? When I was in the city, it was okay when I was with Ahmed and I felt safe. It was when I was away from him that I felt like I was always looking over my shoulder for the boogey man. There was always that fear there, and it became so commonplace that I became used to it. But now, when I go back to the city and I’m with him again, it almost feels strange to have to worry about “the men in the shadows”. It almost makes me happy to be here and away from that aspect of it, even though I miss him so much. I simply want both of them, Ahmed and the safety of being in a small town where strangers are easily noticed. Maybe someday in the future we’ll have that, Ahmed and I… we’ll have that happily ever after in the country and not have to worry about the things that go bump in the night and we won’t have to worry about the footsteps behind us. But I am afraid that the problems from the city are starting to follow me here. Lately I’ve felt like I’m being watched, and then there are the phone calls that when I answer, the caller hangs up.
Prologue:
Garcia
Sunday September 20, 2001 3:45 AM
The man and woman had barely been asleep for two hours, and they only had a few minutes left before all hell would break loose. He knew that they had only been asleep for such a short period of time, because he had been watching, he knew that they only had a few more moments of peace, because he was one of the ones who would break the peace. The girl was curled against the lean, muscular body of her lover, with one arm was loosely draped over his stomach. Her head was resting on his chest, directly over his heart, her dark hair loosely hiding her face. Even in sleep the man had both arms wrapped tightly around the girl, as if he could protect her from the dangers that only came out at night. But neither of them seemed to be aware of the man standing over them, silently watching. The watcher was amazed that the man in the bed didn’t realize he was there. He knew that Ahmed was highly trained. It was well known that this man needed to be aware of his surroundings; his job and more importantly, his life depended on his being constantly aware of his surroundings, even when he was sleeping. And yet, he was able to stand here watching this man and his girlfriend sleeping for a period of time and the couple in bed seemingly had no idea he was there. Garcia scanned the area surrounding the bed, searching for any weapons. A single gun, a Glock, was laying on the nightstand. Quietly he grabbed the gun and tucked it into the waistband of his black pants. Garcia knew that somewhere else in the apartment, possibly even within arm’s reach of the man in the bed, there had to be another gun. A man like this did not have only one gun. Still, without a word he aimed his own gun at the man’s head, silently waiting.
The girl did not move as the door to the apartment swung open and crashed into the wall behind it and the apartment was bathed in bright lights. The man woke, already rolling, instinctively reaching blindly for the gun that should have been on the nightstand beside his bed. Garcia heard the man mumble something that sounded like “What the...” but the sentence was interrupted as he more fully woke up. Garcia simply stood with his gun trained on the man’s head, he said nothing in response, simply stood there with his gun leveled at the man’s head. The man dropped his eyes to where the gun should have been, almost in an effort to assure himself that the space was in fact empty. Garcia noticed that the man seemed to be debating what his next move should be and could tell that the man was torn, Garcia almost felt sympathy for him. The man in the bed started to sit up, possibly better readying himself for the fight that was sure to be following. Halfway up the man found himself face to face with a man who was dressed in black, holding a gun to his head. It seemed that in that instant Garcia saw the first glimmer of recognition and understanding in the other man’s eyes. Of course Garcia realized that there should be recognition in the other man’s eyes, how many times had they passed each other in the office? How many times recently had they been at the same diners, clubs and same bus stops? Instinctively the man dropped back to the bed, rolling on top of the girl, shielding her with his body, trapping her beneath him with his arms, holding her in place. Within minutes the small, loft style apartment had six men, including himself, all dressed in black and carrying semi automatic weapons, along with the two who had been sleeping in the bed. The girl was starting to move underneath the man, trying to escape from beneath her lover, or at least trying to see what was going on around them.
Just as the silence was starting to become deafening, one of the men finally broke the tense peace that was surrounding all of them by speaking. “Get out of the bed, slowly. No quick movements, and no one gets hurt. We just want to talk to you. Answer our questions and everything will be okay.” It took Garcia a second to realize that the voice belonged to his partner, Alek Lewis. The girl was still lying under the man, silently trapped and not able to see exactly what was going on. Garcia had a feeling that the girl, Laila knew exactly who these men were, and what it was that they wanted to talk to her and her boyfriend about.
Garcia knew that Laila had been expecting that sooner or later that this time would eventually come. She knew that the fairy tale she had hoped for, and the dream world she was living in would eventually shatter, and that the reality of who her lover was, along with his world would have to be dealt with. She had known they would come, just not tonight. After all, she hadn’t noticed the signs that had been showing up recently, she hadn’t noticed that she was seeing the same faces more than once or twice, she hadn’t noticed the phone calls that were coming in that when she answered the person on the other end hung up. She hadn’t noticed because she’d been away from the city. Finally Ahmed slowly started to slide off of her so that he could get out of the bed. Frantically Laila realized that she had no clothing on. They must have made love and she had fallen asleep that way, feeling safe in her lover’s arms and in the security there. She quickly grabbed for the sheets trying to pull them up to cover her body. Even knowing this, Garcia still aimed his gun at her head telling her to stop moving and to show him her hands. “I’m only trying to cover myself, I’m naked you stupid jerk!” Without saying another word she methodically pulled the sheet up around her body, all the while making sure her hands showed, she slowly and carefully got out of the bed.
Garcia’s partner, Lewis came up to her, extending clothing to her. “Here, put these on lady…I think they are probably yours. You need to get dressed so we can go.” Numbly she stared at the man and the clothes, not moving to take the clothes. She seemed to be trying to find the right words for the situation, finally she found her voice and the words came out “Screw you. I’m not putting these on, and you can get the hell out of here…now.” The man shook his head impatiently, from the corner of her eye she could see the man she loved struggling into a pair of jeans. His dark hair was messy from sleep giving him a boyish look, a hint of a beard played on his face, but his eyes were old beyond his years, and his face resigned, as if he knew that what was happening and going to happen was inevitable. “Put the clothes on now, or we’ll take you out of here in the sheet. You and your man are going down town. We have a lot of questions for you two.” Frantically she looked to the man she had been in bed with her eyes silently asking him to help her, “Put the clothes on baby…there’s nothing else we can do. Just do what they say and we’ll be okay. I swear Laila, you are going to be fine.” His voice was quiet, she could tell that he was trying to reassure her that everything would be fine, and yet at the same time, she could tell that he had simply given up on fighting. Garcia knew that the realization that he was not going to fight this, and that he was simply giving up scared her in a sense. He wondered what she was thinking, did she think that he meant that he was giving up on fighting for her and their relationship as well, or that he was simply giving up on hiding the truth of their relationship?
Without saying a word Laila numbly pulled the shorts on, struggling to keep the sheet from sliding and revealing too much, and then doing the same with the shirt she had been given. One of the men put his gun in the holster at his side and approached her with a pair of plastic handcuffs reaching for her wrist. She jerked her hand out of his reach, suddenly more panicked than before. Lewis suddenly approached and firmly grabbed her arms and pulled them behind her back, “It’s going to be okay, just stay calm, no one is going to hurt you Laila, everything’s going to be fine.” Laila struggled trying to break free, but she couldn’t move and soon she felt the plastic cutting into her wrists. “The hell it’s going to be okay! Ahmed help me!”
The girl that he had been watching for a few months now, Laila, stopped fighting once she reached the top of the stairs. Garcia carefully gripped one of her thin arms to steady her as she stumbled on the first step; the fear and panic seemed to have the affect of a tranquilizer on this girl. He couldn’t help but to watch her expression and that of Ahmed’s expression. He knew that it was part of his job, and yet he still felt like a voyeur after having watched them for so long. He took over for his partner Lewis, knowing that he would do nothing to help the girl, and in all likelihood make the situation worse. Despite the cool night air of early fall she didn’t shiver as it hit her bare skin, but he noticed that she had goose bumps. He tried to think of anything he could say that would make her feel better, his heart went out to this girl in a sense, she seemed so young and so afraid. Despite all of his training not to feel, to not care about the people he had to take in, and even though this was only the first time he had actually spoken to her, he couldn’t help but sympathize with her. She loved Ahmed, you could see it in her face when they were in the apartment, you could tell by her body language, even now. “Laila, I’m sorry, I know you probably won’t believe me and you don’t want to hear this coming from me, but I promise you I’m not going to hurt you. My name is Manny Garcia, I just have to ask you some questions Laila, that’s all.”
Laila finally turned and studied Garcia’s face, and for the first time their eyes met. In her sharp green eyes he could see the fear and anger. He was almost surprised at how young she looked, he knew how old she was, but still she looked so young, so small and afraid. Garcia really did feel bad for this girl, he knew that no matter what when this was over, this girl’s life would never be the same. He knew that Laila would always remember the events of the next few weeks, and he also knew that no matter how badly that she and Ahmed wanted a happy ending, hell as much as he wanted that for them, he doubted it would ever happen. “Garcia? I don’t care what you say, and I could care less who you are. All I want right now is my lawyer.”
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Slipping Futher Away – Chapter 1