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    Tales From Sha-Hair-Azad:

    These Walls Can Talk

    By Najya Yasirah


    Chapter 16: Can’t Take Her Nowhere



    Sheila and Reyjah met Kate at Chinese Eden. Kate was sitting at the booth. “I wanna work here, just so I can wear a cheong-sam as a uniform,” said Reyjah as she slid inside. Sheila sat on the outside. “How are you doing, Kate?” asked Reyjah. “This is my punk-ass best friend Sheila.” “I’m mad at that, just because I didn’t turn on the red light…” “Nobody was coming, She.” Kate shook hands with Sheila. Reyjah laughed, “Don’t be mad, Mithy Poo!” she said in a toothless Otis voice. “Don’t be like dat, dere gell!” Sheila was cracking up. “Why are you so off the hook, today?” asked Shelia. “You didn’t sleep with Antoine did you?” asked Kate. “EEEEEWWW!” said Reyjah making a face. “Voodoo Dick, I think not.” Kate held in a laugh as she looked at her menu. Shelia was in tears. “But he did sleep at my house!” Check please!” said Sheila. “What are you doing, dumbass? We haven’t ordered anything, yet,” Reyjah teased. “Oh yeah, that’s right,” said Sheila. “I wish, they would hurry up, I am hungry,” said Kate slowly. “You need to tell us this story,” said Shelia to Reyjah. “Cause I know your ass was in the tub when I called you.” “Don’t you remember when I said: ‘Let me see who this son-of-a-bitch is at my door’…well call me Miss Cleo!” said Reyjah. Kate was dying of laughter. “You are a riot!” she said. “She’s like this everyday,” said Sheila. “It has to grow on you.” A waitress finally came over to serve them. “Hi, my name is Gi Li, but you can call me, ‘Julia’.” Julia was a very pretty, petite young Chinese lady. Her black hair had been streaked with bright blue. “I like your hair,” said Sheila. Her own hair had bright red streaks. “I like yours, too,” Julia nodded. “What can I get you to drink?” “Dr.Pepper.” “Green Tea.”  “Dr.Pepper.” “Okay, I’ll be back with your drinks,” she said. “We all got caffeine!” said Reyjah. “That means we are gonna be some hyper asses!” “Speaking of ass, why was Antoine at your house? He didn’t even walk you to your car or even say goodbye to you at Gio’s,” said Kate, looking at the same thing on her menu at least ten times. “I’m mad at him,” said Sheila, who was pretty much doing the same thing that Kate was doing. “I’m mad you two are looking at menus, knowing good and damn well you want the buffet!” said Reyjah. “Gimme my plate, let me eat!” she said.  “Unh-Uh, not until you tell us the story,” said Kate as she blocked Reyjah’s legs from the other side. ”I ain’t letting you, out,” said Sheila. “So you may as well spill it!” “Aw damn!” said Reyjah. “Okay, he comes over and I open the door and I’m just talking. He keeps staring at my titties. Probably because he’s not used to seeing real ones.” “You mean really big ones,” said Sheila. Kate closed her mouth. “Shut up, A-cup!” said Reyjah. Sheila crossed her arms over her little chest. She had boob envy. ”This is the clincher, y’all, he tries to kiss me.” Kate let her mouth fall open. Sheila uncrossed her arms. Julia came back with the drinks. “Are you all having the buffet?” she asked. “Yep!” said Sheila.

    Reyjah’s had at leat four types of chicken on her plate. “Are you some kind of fitness chick, Reyjah?” asked Kate. “Yep!” said Reyjah. She bit into her sesame chicken. “So was the kiss any good?” asked Sheila. She was enjoying her beef lo mein. Kate was digging in to her stir- fry. “No, sad to say. And his bottom lip is so full and..argh, whew!” Reyjah shook. “Are we having fantasies?” said Kate. “Not while I’m eating,” said Reyjah. “It wasn’t even romantic; it was like he was trying too hard to want me, I don’t know.” She tore up yet another piece of chicken. Sheila shook her head. “You know he’s a manwhore, right?” said Kate. “That’s why I don’t want his ass,” said Reyjah with wide eyes. “What if he wanted your ass?” said Sheila. “He dropped my ass the first day we met, it’s probably lopsided, by now.” Kate laughed. All of a sudden, Reyjah let out a loud, uncontrollable belch. The whole restaurant went silent.  “DAMN!” said someone. The three haircare professionals hid behind their menus.


    Tales From Sha-Hair-Azad: These Walls Can Talk - Chapter 17