What If

                                                                         Chapter 26

It was late by the time Raegan walked into the duplex. She’d said goodnight to Billy and had endured his kissing, wondering how she had managed it without throwing up. She saw no blinking light and had mixed feelings of relief and disappointment that Oded hadn’t called. She flipped on the living room light and nearly jumped out of her skin when she saw Nancy sitting there on the couch, cross-legged and arms crossed against her chest, a glaring frown on her face. Raegan dropped her gaze, feeling guilty and knowing the confrontation that was coming next.

“Nance, I . . .” Raegan began.

“Oded called,” Nancy said, cutting her off. “Left six messages. Seems he’s quite confused about what’s going on with you. He’s not the only one.”

“Nance, I really don’t want . . .” Raegan began again, but Nancy cut her off once more.

“I don’t give a rat’s ass what you don’t want, Rae!” Nancy snapped. “You are going to sit your ass down here and tell me what the hell is going on, why you broke up with Oded and why the fuck you seeing Billy again!”

A spark of anger flashed through Raegan’s aqua eyes. “It’s my business, Nancy. I see whomever I wish and I certainly don’t need your permission!” she answered quietly.

Nancy knew she would have to change tactics to get the information she wanted. Raegan could be as stubborn as a bulldog when she was pushed the wrong way. “Alright, alright,” Nancy said, intentionally calming her voice. “You’re right, I’m sorry. It is your business who you see. I just care about you, Rae. You’re my best friend and I’ve known you a long time. I worry when I see you throwing away a good relationship with a nice guy to go out with a jerk.”

Raegan relaxed a little, but still kept her guard up. She knew what Nancy was doing. They had been friends for a long time, and Raegan was just as familiar with how Nancy worked as Nancy was with her. “It just didn’t work out, Nance. And I decided to give Billy another chance. I know you don’t like it, but you’re just gonna have to accept it,” Raegan answered. “I’m tired. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Raegan went to her bedroom and shut the door, leaving Nancy sitting in the living room, thinking on their conversation. “Like hell, I’ll just accept that,” Nancy replied to no one. She got up, turned out the living room light, then went to join Rick in bed.

Sunday Raegan left early with Billy again. Nancy and Rick had plans too, but Nancy made Rick bring her home early in hopes that she might intercept a call from Oded. When they got back to the duplex around 2 o’clock, there were already three messages from him, all of them angry. It was now after six and Nancy was afraid that Oded wasn’t going call again when the phone rang.

“Hello?” Nancy grabbed it on the first ring.

“Nancy!” Oded greeted, relieved that he finally reached someone.

“Oh god, Oded, I was afraid you weren’t gonna call again,” Nancy said, sitting on a chair next to the desk where the phone sat.

“Nancy, what the hell is going on? Did you know that Raegan broke up with me?” he asked.

“I didn’t know until yesterday, Ded. And I only found out by accident,” Nancy answered. God she didn’t want to tell Oded about Billy, but she knew he would have to know.

“Do you know why? She wouldn’t tell me. In fact she sounded as if she didn’t have a reason at all,” Oded replied, the hurt clear in his voice.

“Oded, I have some news you aren’t going to like,” Nancy began.

Silence. “What is it?” he asked softly.

The tension seemed to jump through the phone at her as she took a deep breath and told him. “Rae is dating Billy again.”

More silence. Oded’s mind went blank. He suddenly felt as if someone had sucked the wind out of his lungs. Of all the things that he had imagined, he had never once thought that Raegan would dump him for Billy. “Son of a bitch!” Oded finally whispered, then his anger kicked in. “God damn it why?” He sucked in his breath, trying to calm the force of his anger. “Has she said anything to you, Nancy?”

“I tried to get her to talk last night,” Nancy answered, wincing at his angry tone. She certainly did not blame him. “She only said that it didn’t work out between you two and that she had decided to give Billy another chance. She wasn’t very receptive to me asking, so I didn’t get far, but Oded, I know Raegan. Something isn’t right; it doesn’t make any sense. Did you guys have a fight or anything?”

“We had a little misunderstanding Thursday when I dropped her off after lunch. I wanted her to come up here with me and I’m afraid I lost my temper a little when she said she couldn’t. But I thought we got over it. I apologized, and she said she forgave me. She was fine when I left,” Oded explained. “When she called me Friday morning to tell me she didn’t want to see me anymore, I asked her if she was still angry about the day before and she said no, that it had nothing to do with that. I was on my way out the door to catch my flight up here, so I couldn’t talk to her longer. I think she planned it that way,” he finished flatly.

“Well I know she wasn’t fine when we went home Thursday evening. She said it was because you were going to be gone, but now I don’t think that was it. Whatever happened to cause her to do this happened between the time you dropped her off after lunch and the time we left work on Thursday,” Nancy said. “Oded, I know Raegan, there is a reason behind this. She is crazy about you and I am having a hard time believing that she could be so in love with you one day and the next day she is saying it didn’t work out. It makes no sense.”

Oded sighed heavily. “Well whatever the reason, I’m stuck here until at least Wednesday.” That very fact frustrated him to no end. He had called Trish to see if he could possible reschedule these meetings, but she had said no. It was stupid that he was here anyway. It was for a movie role, one that he’d signed up for before The Mummy. It was such a small part, but still, he already had an obligation to it. “I’ll just have to deal with this when I get back, Nancy. Thanks, though, for the information,” Oded finished.

“Alright, Ded. Don’t give up on her. I’ll see if I can’t dig up some more information. I’m just positive that something isn’t right,” Nancy said, wanting to encourage Oded, he was sounding so down.

“Thanks again, Nance. Bye.” Oded hung up. He buried his face in his hands and tried to deal with this latest piece of information. Raegan was seeing Billy again. That hurt him more than anything else she could have done. He lay back on the bed, not knowing how to deal with this kind of hurt that was twisting his gut and piercing his heart. It was nearly consuming him, when the anger kicked in suddenly, pushing the hurt aside. Nancy was right, something was wrong. Things had been good between them before Friday. Oded had a sudden thought - Trish!   He sat up suddenly. Had Trish gotten to Raegan, threatened her somehow? Oded’s mind began to whirl at the possibilities. If it was Trish who was behind this, then this was the last straw!

There were no more calls from Oded after Sunday. Nancy didn’t tell Rae that she’d talked to him, only that there had been a few more messages from him on the machine when she and Rick had gotten there. There had been a delay in the trial, so Raegan was left with little to do at work except for normal everyday things. It wasn’t enough to keep her busy. Her thoughts began to wander, wondering what Oded was doing, why he hadn’t called again. The very thought that he had given up so easily hurt her more than she cared to admit. She was torn between wanting him to call and not wanting him to. Even though Billy had told her he wouldn’t make her sleep with him for two weeks, he was still pushing for it. So far she’d been able to fend him off, but she didn’t think he would be patient with her for much longer. She wasn’t sleeping well at night, either. Every time she closed her eyes she saw Oded. Her brain wouldn’t shut off, thinking about the fun times they’d had, his thoughtfulness, his tenderness. The way he always had to touch her, no matter where they were or what they were doing, his hand, or his thigh, or his arm. In some way, he physically had to be touching her, and she missed it. But what she missed the most was the connection they shared. They couldn’t read each other’s minds or anything like that, but they had a connection. It was more like an awareness of the other that brought them closer together. By the time Wednesday came around Raegan had dark circles under her eyes and she was losing weight from not eating. Nancy had tried several more times to talk to Raegan, but with no success. Whatever it was that was making her do this, she was keeping her mouth shut on it.

Oded, on the other hand, was like a caged tiger by the time Wednesday arrived. He was irritable and snapping at everyone who dared to talk to him. During the meetings with the director and the cast he kept his mouth shut, barely listening to what was going on. After the idea that Trish might be behind what was going on with Raegan, Oded had worked himself into a frenzy over it. He didn’t dare talk to Trish right now until he found out the truth. He might be going insane over it, but he still wasn’t stupid. He was more than ready to leave by the time he’d been dismissed from the meetings. He was checked out of the hotel and on his way to the airport within an hour after the last meeting was over. It was going to be late by the time he got back to L.A., but he decided he wouldn’t wait until tomorrow. He’d go home, drop off his stuff, and drive out to Cucamonga and settle this. Raegan wouldn’t be able to avoid him if he was right there in front of her.

                                                                ********************

                                                                         Chapter 27

It was after eleven that night when Oded pulled up in Raegan’s driveway. He noticed the living room light was on and was glad that someone was still up. He didn’t want to wake the whole neighborhood up with his pounding on the door. He knocked on the door. No answer. He knocked a bit harder, still no answer. “Damn it!” he muttered under his breath, and began pounding on the door.

Suddenly the door flew. “Damn it, Rick you’re going to wake up . . .” Nancy stopped, surprised. “Oded!” she squeaked. “I thought you were Rick.”

“Can I come in?” he asked when Nancy continued to stand there and stare at him.

“Oh yes.” She stepped back and let him enter, closing the door behind him. “Damn, Ded, you look like death warmed over,” Nancy observed, looking him over. He looked almost as bad as Raegan did. His face was haggard, and he had dark circles under his eyes. And those once expressive brown eyes looked flat and lifeless.

“Is she here?” he asked, glancing around the room.

“Yeah, she’s . . .”

“Nancy, what the hell was that all about?” Raegan entered the living room, then froze at the sight of Oded standing there. She faltered, taking a step back. She’d obviously been asleep. Her hair was mussed, and she’d haphazardly put her robe on over her nightgown. Oh god! she thought. He looked bad, but he was the most beautiful sight in the entire world to her. And he was here. No, no, no! Raegan panicked. He can’t be here! She couldn’t face him; if she did she would cave in. She was too weak where he was concerned. “Why are you here? I told you I didn’t want to see you anymore. Please leave.”

“No.” Oded took a step toward her. Good God, what had happened to her? She had lost weight; Oded saw that right away, and the dark circles. He was suddenly torn between his love and concern for her and his anger at her pushing him away. “I’m not leaving until we discuss this,” he answered.

Raegan spun on her heels and ran to her room, but Oded was quick and caught up with her before she could shut and lock the door. He pushed the door open and shut it behind him. Nancy was left standing in the living room, her mouth hung open. “Oh shit!”

“Get out!” Raegan yelled at him.

“Not until you tell me why!” he snapped back, his dark eyes finally showing some emotion. He took a step toward her, his voice dropping an octave. “Not until you tell me why you’re seeing Billy again.”

Raegan blanched. “How did you -,” she faltered, realizing that Nancy must have told him. Oh god, he knows about Billy. Raegan’s mind raced. How would she explain to him about her seeing Billy again? Then she forced herself to get angry again. “I can see whoever I want, Oded. I don’t need your permission.”

“Did Trish do this?” he asked suddenly, his voice raising. God, she was being stubborn about this!

Raegan frowned, confused. “Trish? What are you talking about?”

“Did Trish threaten you? Tell you to break it off with me? What did she threaten you with?” Oded asked, his anger increasing with each question.

“I don’t know what the hell your talking about, Oded. This has nothing to do with Trish. I just don’t want to see you anymore. Obviously your ego can’t accept the fact. I realize women throw themselves at you, but get over it! I don’t want you anymore!” Raegan’s heart was in her throat. Where she’d come up with those words, she would never know.

Oded took another menacing step toward her. “And you’re a rotten liar, Raegan! Tell me the truth, damn it! Why did you break up with me for Billy?”

“I told you, it didn’t work for us.” Raegan backed up a step and bumped against the wall. Oded towered over her, his body tense.

“You look me in the eyes and tell me you don’t love me, that you don’t want me anymore,” Oded commanded, leaning in close. “You look me in the eyes and tell me that, and I’ll leave and not bother you again.”

Raegan nearly collapsed. Her heart skipped a beat and her palms were sweaty. Oh god, how was she going to do this? She moved her eyes up until they reached his bearded chin, but that was as far as she could force them. “I don’t love you and I don’t want you, now please leave!” she spit out quickly.

Oded slipped his fingers under her chin and lifted until her eyes met his angry but determined gaze. He lifted his other hand and pointed to his eyes. “My eyes are up here,” he bit out, his usually full bottom lip thinning out as he spoke. Reagan trembled under the intensity of his gaze.

Raegan was saved from answering when a knock sounded at her door. “Uh, guys?” came Nancy’s tentative call.

Oded’s nostrils flared in frustration as he released Raegan and turned to open the locked door. The look on his face was anything but inviting when he opened the door to face Nancy. Nancy had seen that look many times on the big screen during The Mummy, but had never experienced the full force of it in person. She took a step back, her heart jumping up in her throat. “I’m sorry. But you need to keep your voices down before the neighbors call the cops,” she said quickly. Nancy caught a slight softening in that intense gaze as he nodded. “Oded, you won’t . . .”

“I would never hurt her, Nancy,” he answered, cutting her off. Nancy nodded as Rick moved up behind her. Rick had showed up during the escalating fight, and now he moved close to Nancy to add his support. Oded met Rick’s gaze briefly then he shut the door. He turned to face Raegan, only to find her gone. “Rae?” he asked, confused, and looked around the room. He walked over to the bathroom door that was shut and tried to turn the knob, only to find it locked. Son of a bitch, he couldn’t believe this! She had locked herself in the damn bathroom! “Rae, are you in there?” he called out.

“Go away, Oded. I told you, I don’t love you and I don’t want to see you anymore,” Raegan called out. She sat on the toilet, her legs drawn up and her arms wrapped around them. She had gone into the bathroom in a desperate attempt to get away from him. He was wearing her down; she could feel her resolve crumbling with each moment she was in his presence. Oh please God, make him go away! Please make him go away! she prayed over and over silently.

“God damn it, Raegan, open this fucking door!” Oded growled. His hand wrapped around the knob, and he gave the door a hard shake.

“No!” Raegan yelled back with false bravado. Inside she was a trembling mess, and she was getting scared. Oded cursed, but rarely used the harsher words like ‘fuck’ unless he was seriously pissed.

Suddenly something in Oded snapped. He couldn’t take this anymore. Her refusal to face him and tell him the truth was a slap to his face, and the thought of her with Billy, with him touching her intimately, touching those secret places that only he knew how to touch… Oded growled in anger and frustration, pulled his fist back, and slammed it into the bathroom door. A loud crack echoed throughout the room as his fist went through the door, punching a hole clean through. Raegan shrieked. Pain raced up his arm as he pulled his hand out of the door. Hearing Raegan shriek startled him, and all the anger drained from him as the reality of what he’d done and the hopelessness of the whole situation washed over him, causing him to stumble back. His back hit the wall behind him, and he slumped to the floor in defeat. He was losing the only woman he ever truly cared about. He felt numb as the tears he’d been holding back for the past week came streaming down his face.

The sudden silence was almost eerie. Raegan jumped up and peeked through the hole that Oded had made in her bathroom door. What she saw nearly brought her to her knees. She saw Oded slumped on the floor, his hands lying motionless beside him, the one he’d put through the door bleeding. His legs were stretched out before him, tears streaming down his face as he stared blankly at the bathroom door. Raegan’s hand shot up to her mouth as she whimpered. “Oh god!” She had done this! She had driven him to this and it was her fault that he was now sitting on her bedroom floor looking as if he wanted to die. What had she done? Seeing him like that did something to her that all his anger and yelling couldn’t do. She broke down. “Oded!” she whispered as a sob racked her body, her eyes filling with tears. Unlocking the door, she opened it and rushed to his side. Dropping to her knees beside him, she drew his head to her chest and began rocking him, clutching him to her. Her own hot tears began to fall as she began to babble incoherently, her hands stroking his hair, his face, cradling him against her breast. “Oh god, Oded, I’m so sorry. I love you so much!” she sobbed into his thick hair. “I never meant to hurt you. I didn’t want to do this.” She hiccupped and continued to babble her confession. “I had to, don’t you see? He made me. I had to protect you. I couldn’t let him send you away, to never see you again.”

Oded began to stir in her arms as her words started to penetrate his brain. He pulled away from her, a confused look on his face. “What are you talking about?” he asked, his eyebrows pulled down in a frown.

But a pounding on her bedroom kept her from answering. “Rae? Oded? What’s going on? Are you guys alright in there?”

Raegan released Oded and stood up. She walked over to the door and opened it. Nancy and Rick stood there, worried. Raegan smiled, wiping the tears from her eyes. “It’s alright, Nance. Oded was just redecorating my bathroom door. Didn’t care for the way it looked,” she joked, trying to lighten the too-serious mood. It didn’t work. Her smile faded. “Sorry.”

“Rae, are you . . .” Nancy began.

“I’m fine. It’s gonna be alright. The worst is over now. You guys don’t need to sit up and stand guard anymore,” Raegan told them. And it was going to be all right, Raegan decided. If Oded forgave her for this, then they would deal with Billy somehow.

“All right, if you’re sure,” Nancy said. Raegan nodded. “Well then, Rick and I are going to take off to his place so you guys can have some privacy. I’ll call you in the morning.”

“Okay,” Raegan answered. “Thanks Nance.” She stepped forward to give her best friend a hug. Closing the door, she turned around to face Oded. He had stood up and was standing there, looking at her. Raegan suddenly felt uncertain. Maybe she had waited too long, pushed him too far. Maybe he didn’t care anymore, didn’t love her anymore. Maybe . . .

Oded watched her as she closed the bedroom door and locked it. She turned to him and stood there uncertainly, looking at him. Part of him wanted to let her know that he forgave her, even now without a clear explanation, but the other part of him, the part that was wounded, the part of him that cried out his heartbreak, made him stand there, unmoving, unwilling to relieve her worries. “You hurt me.” His voice was low, gruff. It was an accusation that cut Raegan to the quick. The tears no longer flowed down his cheeks, but his eyes still shown with the unshed ones.

“Oded, I . . .” Raegan began, but then stopped. What could she say? What excuse could she give that would mend what she’d done?

Oded watched her flounder, unwilling to toss out the lifeline that would help her. He wanted the truth. He wanted to know why. “Tell me, why?” he asked softly, his dark eyes watching every feature of her face as the expressions flittered across it.

Raegan opened her mouth, then shut it. For some reason, why she did it didn’t seem good enough anymore. Ultimately what it boiled down to was that she should have told Billy to take a flying leap, and then gone to Oded with the problem so they could have worked it out together. Raegan dropped her eyes briefly, then raised them again to meet his. “I did it for you,” she said. “I…” She swallowed hard then continued. “I had to let you go so that you could stay.” Tears filled her eyes again and began to fall. “He threatened to have you deported, Oded and I -, oh god!” Raegan brought her hand up to cover her mouth to keep a sob from escaping. “I love you so much! The thought of never seeing you again . . .” Raegan couldn’t continue. She brought up her other hand to cover the one already over her mouth as her breath hitched on another sob.

Oded was stunned. She had only been trying to protect him, though she shouldn’t have. She had been willing to give him up so that he could remain and continue his acting career. The very act of her selflessness humbled him and moved him like nothing else ever had. Oded felt her love wash over him, healing his wounded heart as he lifted his arms out to her. Raegan felt her knees turn to jello. She wobbled slightly as she took a step toward him, then another until she was running toward him. She flung herself at him, and he caught her, wrapping his arms tight around her waist, lifting her up until her feet no longer touched the floor. “My god, Rae, I thought I’d never hold you again,” Oded breathed into her ear as he tightened his hold on her. He lowered her until her feet touched the floor, then he took her face in his hands and kissed her hard. Raegan couldn’t get close enough to him; she pushed herself against him until he lost his balance and fell back against the wall. She wanted to crawl inside him. Oded laughed softly, breaking the kiss. “Slow down, tiger! I’m bleeding all over the place here, and we still need to talk.”

Raegan looked up and smiled at him through her tears. His own eyes were bright and shiny with unshed tears as he caressed her cheek. She stepped back, remembering his injured hand. “Let me see.” She took the injured hand in hers and looked it over closely.

“It’s not broken, sweetness. I just tore up the skin.” He smiled, gazing down lovingly at her.

Raegan raised an eyebrow and gave him a hard look. “Unlike my bathroom door, huh?”

Oded’s smile turned sheepish. “Sorry about that. I’ll have it replaced.”

Raegan sighed and leaned her forehead against his chest. “Oh Oded. I’m not worried about the door.”

Oded lifted her face up, his thumb stroking across her cheek. “Get me a band aid and let’s talk,” he commanded softly. Raegan nodded and stepped away. She went into her bathroom and came back a few moments later with cotton balls, peroxide and band-aids.

“Sit on the bed,” she commanded as she followed Oded to the bed and knelt in front of him when he sat. She took his hand and began doctoring it. As she did so, she explained what had happened. “After you left me Thursday afternoon, Billy approached me and demanded that I go with him to the conference room. Once there, he told me that if I didn’t break up with you and go back to him, he would have your visa revoked and have you deported back to Israel.” Raegan heard Oded’s swift intake of breath. Her eyes left his injured hand to meet his dark gaze.

“Could he really do that?” Oded asked incredulously.

“I, I honestly don’t know, Ded,” Raegan answered as she placed the band-aid across his wounded knuckle. “But I couldn’t afford to find out. I couldn’t bear it if something happened to you because of me.” Tears slipped down her cheeks. “It could have destroyed your career and, and I would never see you again,” she finished in a whisper.

Oded took her hand and drew her up beside him. He slipped an arm around her as she settled next to him on the bed. Oded could feel himself getting angry again, and he knew that he need to stay calm. Getting angry right now wouldn’t help anything. “That would have never happened, Rae.” He tightened his arm around her, her head leaning against his chest. “I would have taken you with me back to Israel before I would let that bastard touch you!”

Raegan pulled back and looked up at him, a look of surprise on her face. “Would you really?”

“Of course I would,” Oded answered immediately. “My god, Raegan, I love you so much it hurts.” He reached up a hand to caress her damp cheek.

She smiled; it lit up her whole face, nearly blinding him. His heart stopped beating for a moment. “I love you too, Oded,” she said.

At her words, he felt he could breath again, and he gathered her to him and kissed her deeply. His tongue traced along her bottom lip, then along the top. The hand that had been caressing her cheek slipped into her hair to cup the back of her head. He slipped his tongue into mouth and began to plunder the inside of it. Raegan began grabbing at his shirt, pulling it up over his head and dropping it to the floor. Oded’s hands came up to untie the belt on her robe, and he pushed it off her shoulders to reveal the shear nightgown beneath. He groaned as he crushed the light material in his fists and began pulling it upwards until it came up over her head and floated to the floor. Once Raegan’s arms were free from the gown, her hands made an immediate grab at the waistband of his pants. He helped her get them down and kicked them off along with his shoes and socks. Their underwear came next as he fell back on the bed, pulling her across the top of him. The feel of her weight on him was heavenly as his other arm slipped around her waist to hold her against him. Raegan moaned against his mouth, feeling the hard evidence of his arousal against her thigh. They had only broken their kiss for brief moments during their undressing and now they went at each other hungrily as if they were starving for each other. Their hands were everywhere; neither one could stop touching the other. Oded rolled Raegan onto her back and moved up over her. He broke their kiss and trailed his mouth down her throat to latch on to a hardened nipple. Raegan arched her back with a moan, her hands tangling in his dark hair. With every sucking motion he made, every swirl of his tongue on her overly sensitive nipples, she drew closer and closer to her release. He switched to the other one, showing it the same attention, his hand drifting down to slip between her parted thighs. His finger dipped into her hot wetness and he knew she was more than ready for him.

“Oded, please!” Raegan thrust her hips up. She wanted him inside her; she needed him to fill her.

Oded replaced his finger with the tip of his throbbing sex. He needed to be inside her just as badly as she did. He eased the velvety tip into her moist chamber, then stopped. Back muscles straining, veins popping out in his neck, he looked down in her passion-filled face. “Tell me again, Rae.”

Raegan’s breath caught as she looked up at him. She knew exactly what he wanted to hear and she gave it to him. “I love you, Oded. I love you!” With her declaration said, he moved his hips slightly, just barely enough to move further into her warmth, then stopped.

“Tell me again,” he demanded. He was being cruel by holding back, he knew it, but he couldn’t seem to help himself. Part of him still wanted to punish her for not trusting him, for not coming to him. But in this, he was torturing himself as well. He was stretching his control beyond anything he’d ever endured and he felt he might go insane from it. Such sweet torture for them both.

“Oh god, I love you!” Raegan cried out as her body strained for him to come inside. Her hands glided across his sweat-slicked skin, feeling his muscles tense and straining against his denial of the final act that would make them whole.

Again Oded moved his hips slightly, sinking deeper, but only a little. “Again,” he growled against her ear. His breathing was strained and it came out in warm gusts against her skin.

“Oded!” Raegan cried out in frustration. “Finish this!”

“Please,” his voice was whispery soft in her ear, making her shiver as her hands moved down his back. She was in agony, her body wound up so tight she thought she might implode. She was on the brink, teetering on the edge. But hearing his soft plea and still feeling guilty for the pain she’d caused him, her heart melted and she couldn’t help but give him what he asked for.

Grabbing his face between her palms, she forced him to look at her. Their eyes met in a clash of dark maple and aqua. Tears forming once again in her eyes, they spilled down her cheeks. “I,” she paused. “Love,” another pause, “You!”

Oded covered her mouth with his as he surged the rest of the way inside her, filling her so completely. He sank deeper as Raegan lifted her legs to wrap them around his hips. His tongue swept through her mouth in desperation as if he were trying to memorize it. He trailed kisses down to her ear where he pressed his lips to her ear, his breath coming in gusts with each thrust of his hips. “God, I love the way you feel,” he breathed into her ear. Raegan shivered at his words. They fit together so well, as if they were made specifically for each other and no one else. Oded withdrew almost completely out of her; the emptiness was immediate and felt by both. Their eyes met at the intensity of that emptiness nearly overwhelming them, bringing them both to tears as the enormity of what they had almost lost nearly consumed them, driving them to cling to each other in desperation.

With tears streaming down his cheeks, his lips hovering over hers, he held her eyes that had darkened to a deep turquoise color.    “You are mine, Raegan!” he whispered huskily as he finally surged back into her, claiming her and branding her his.

His hips began to pick up speed as he pulled out and thrust back deep. He filled her so completely that she was hopelessly lost in the sensations that raced through her body. Both of them felt as if they had come home. With each thrust it brought them closer and closer to their climaxes. Raegan felt herself spiraling out of control as her body began to convulse beneath him. She hung on, clutching to him, never wanting to let him go. That they had almost lost each other was clear to both of them as Oded thrust harder, his hands sliding under to cup her bottom and lend his strength as she lifted her hips to meet his. Tears streamed unchecked down his cheeks as he attempted in the only way he knew how to become one with her.    Raegan clutched at his back as she cried out his name. Oded groaned deep, his climax nearly ripping him in two. He felt himself losing control again as he felt his body shudder hard. God, what was it about this woman that drove him to the brink of his control and shattered him so completely? “Raegan!” he ground out as he spilled his seed deep within her. He continued to thrust in and out of her, unable to stop himself, his climax drawing out almost painfully.

Raegan held him tight, turning her head slightly to press her lips to his ear as he buried his face in the hollow of her neck. “Sh-sh-sh! It’s all right love, it’s all right.” Her hands stroked his back in a soothing motion as he thrust several more times until he finally collapsed on top of her.

Oded lay still for a long time before finally moving. His thoughts were chaotic as he tried to make sense of what it was that Raegan did to him that caused him to lose control like that during their love making. This was the second time he’d been held by such a powerful climax that he felt like he was drowning. He sighed softly as no answers were forth coming. He lifted his head from her neck and began to kiss her face all over before finally meeting her lips. He could taste the salt of her tears as they continued to flow freely down her cheeks. His own tears mingled with hers, joining them together. They held each other for a long time before he slowly withdrew. Rolling to his side, he pulled her with him and cradled her close. His arms wrapped tightly around her, holding her to his chest.

Pressing a warm kiss to his damp chest, Raegan snuggled close. “You want to talk about it?” she asked, sensing his inner turmoil. It amazed her at how well they could read each other. Even as she knew he was struggling with what had just happened, she also knew that he wouldn’t discuss it now. But still she asked to let him know that she was aware of his struggle and that she was there to listen when he was ready to talk about it.

“No,” he whispered, pressing his lips to her forehead. Nothing else needed to be said; Raegan knew he’d talk when he was ready, and he knew she understood. They were silent for a long time. Raegan had begun to think Oded had fallen asleep when he suddenly spoke again. “I don’t want you to see him again, Rae.”

Turning her head slightly, she placed another sweet kiss over his heart. She could taste the salt from his sweat on her tongue as she flicked it across a flat nipple. “I won’t,” she answered, and smiled when she heard his sharp intake of breath.

Oded was silent again. Again Raegan sensed that he was struggling with something, but didn’t know what. Oded was usually so straightforward with his questions and comments that to see him like this was a bit unnerving. “Rae, you two didn’t . . .” Oded closed his eyes, his body tense for her answer. He could barely think about it, let alone say it. He’d always been straightforward; it’s just the way he was, but for once in his life he couldn’t bear to ask.

“No, we didn’t,” she answered, suddenly realizing what was bothering him so much. She felt him relax as his hand began to stroke her back. “I made him give me some time, but I don’t know how much longer I would have been able to put him off if you hadn’t come here tonight,” she added.

“Well, you don’t need to worry about him anymore,” he answered relieved. “We will work this thing out together.”

“I just don’t know what to do, Oded,” Raegan replied, swiping a hand across a tear-stained cheek. “I feel like I’m going crazy thinking about it.”

Oded pulled his head back so he could look down at her. “There has to be a way to find out if he can make good on his threat, Rae. But even so, I am not completely helpless. I may not have been in this business for very long, but I have made some powerful friends. I think we could give Billy a good fight if he tried to have me deported. But…,”

Raegan met his gaze. “Yes?”

“If he does succeed, Rae, Israel is a beautiful country. I would not consider it a hardship to go home. I love my country, and I know you would love it too.” He smiled at her, showing his dimples.

Raegan returned his smile, feeling better every moment she was in his arms. “I’m sure I would,” she answered and met his lips for a slow, exploratory kiss.

“What about someone at your work?” Oded asked softly when he’d broken the kiss. “Is there anyone that you could talk to? Get some answers about exactly what he could do?”

“I don’t know, I never thought about that.” Raegan frowned. “I suppose I could talk to Lisa. She’s familiar with INS laws and I know I can trust her to keep quiet about it until we figure out what we need to do.”

“Good, then talk to her,” Oded replied. “Find out as much as you can and what your options are. If she doesn’t know, then ask her if she can help you find someone who would.”

Raegan snuggled closer to him. “That’s a good idea,” Raegan answered, wanting to kick herself. “Geez, why didn’t I think of this before?” she chided herself.

Oded chuckled softly, giving her a gentle squeeze. “Don’t be too hard on yourself, sweetness. I’m not all sure I would have thought of it myself if I’d been in your position. The point now is that we find out what we can and fix the problem.”

“Yes,” Raegan answered, then pulled away from him. She reached across to her bedside table to turn off the small lamp sitting there. They crawled beneath the covers, and after pulling her into his arms again and kissing her softly, he said, “I love you, sweetness.”

Raegan smiled. “I love you too, Oded.” And for the first time in over a week they both fell into a deep sleep.

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                                                        What If - Chapters 28 - 29