What If

                                                                         Chapter 30

Oded was quiet all the way back to his condo. He couldn’t get the image of Billy grabbing Raegan out of his head and it just infuriated him even more. Raegan reached over and traced her finger along the outer shell of his ear, then let it slide down the side of his neck to his shoulder. He was still very tense; she could feel it in the tight muscles of his shoulders. When she would have pulled her hand away, Oded reached up and placed his large hand over her smaller one, holding it against his shoulder. He pulled the Beemer into the garage and shut off the engine. They went inside and Oded carried her overnight bag up to his room. Coming back down the stairs, he stopped and stared at her as she stood looking out the sliding glass door that led to the backyard.

“Come here,” he commanded softly, needing to hold her.

Raegan turned to face him. He was still tense, and she sensed the anger was still there, hovering about, but right now he needed her. She crossed the room to where he stood and slipped her arms around his waist, pressing her cheek to his chest. Oded sighed as his arms circled her, and he dropped his cheek to the top of her head. Neither one of them said a word. They stood there for a long time, just holding each other. She felt him relax slightly, but not completely. It would take more than this to settle him.

“Come on,” she said as she pulled away from him. She took his hand and led him up the stairs to the bathroom. She released his hand and walked over to the tub and turned the water on.

“What are you doing?” Oded asked, never taking his eyes off her.

Raegan added some bath oil to the hot water, then turned her head and smiled at him from over her shoulder. “Therapy,” she stated simply and put the bath oil away. While the tub continued to fill with hot water, Raegan approached Oded and began unbuttoning his shirt. He stood there and let her undress him, only moving to help at her command. He watched her as she removed her own clothing, then after turning off the water, she stepped into the tub and sat down. Looking up at him, she motioned to the empty place in front of her. “Come here,” she commanded, much in the same way he had commanded her just a short time ago.

Oded approached the tub and stepped into the hot water. He sank down into it between her legs. The tub was really too small for him; he had to bend his legs in order to sink down far enough to let his head rest against her breasts, but he didn’t mind. Raegan moved her legs to circle around his stomach, and her hands came around to rest on his chest. As her hands began to move across his chest, then up to his face to brush across his cheeks and to brush his hair back away from his face, he closed his eyes and felt himself begin to relax. In his mind this was as good as swimming twenty laps in the pool. In fact, he thought it was even better. As he felt himself relaxing, he began to talk.

“I wanted to kill him, Rae.” He spoke softly as her hands moved lovingly across his face, down his neck, and across his shoulders. “When I saw him grab you, I, I just went berserk.” Raegan felt him shudder, and she wrapped her arms around him. Oded raised his hands up to curl his fingers around her arms where they crossed in front of him. “I’ve never felt such violence before. It scares me, Raegan. My feelings for you scare me. I’ve never loved someone so much that I would feel driven to kill someone if I thought they were being threatened.”

Raegan held her breath for a moment. “What are you trying to say, Oded?” she asked softly, afraid that maybe he was changing his mind about them.

Oded sighed as he picked up her hand and pressed the wet palm to his lips. “I’m just sharing my feelings with you, sweetness,” he said after a few minutes. He shifted slightly and turned his head so he could look back at her. His hand came up to lace through her hair and draw her mouth down to his for a kiss. He released her, then turned forward again. His hands drifted down to caress her legs that were wrapped around him. At that very moment he felt safe and complete. “’You going to tell me what happened this morning with Lisa?” he finally asked, leaning his head back again. He had risen up slightly when he’d kissed her, so now when he leaned back, his head dropped back against her shoulder and she leaned her cheek against his temple.

“Don’t change the subject, Oded,” Raegan chided gently. “We will get to that later. We have all weekend.”

Oded was quiet as his hands continued to move along her upper thighs and over her knees. He was sorting through his thoughts and feelings, and Raegan patiently waited until he was ready. She had realized that he had changed the subject for her sake. He hadn’t wanted to upset her, but she knew that he needed to talk about it. She had mixed feelings about his reaction to Billy. Part of her reveled in the fact that he would be willing to kill to protect her, but the other part of her was mortified at it, and she was equally mortified with herself. But she placed no blame on Oded; her love and respect grew even more for him when he had controlled himself for her sake, stopping because she had asked him to.

“Do you think that as you get older your feelings get more intense?” he finally asked after some time.

“Could be,” Raegan answered. “For some people, the things that they experience in life as they get older could cause them to feel more intensely, just as for others it could dull their feelings.”

“I thought I was in love once before. In Israel. I was sixteen and thought it was the most intense thing a person could feel. But compared to the feelings that I have for you, I realize now that it wasn’t love at all, just an infatuation,” he admitted.

“Love at sixteen is complicated at best,” Raegan elaborated. She reached behind her for the bath sponge and dunked it down into the warm water. Bringing it up, she squeezed water onto his chest. “What happened? Who was she?”

“A merchant’s daughter.” Oded smiled, remembering. “I thought she was the most beautiful thing in the world. Long black hair and the biggest brown eyes I’d ever seen. Trouble was, she lived in Jerusalem and I in Tel Aviv. We tried to see each other once or twice a month over weekends, but after a few years the travel proved to be too much. She married someone else and I joined the Navy.”

“Did you ever see her again?” Raegan asked curiously as she continued to squeeze warm water over his chest and his shoulders.

“Yes, as a matter of fact, I saw her a few years ago. She is still happily married and has 5 beautiful kids,” Oded answered.

“Were you still attracted to her?” Raegan asked.

Oded chuckled softly. “You’re mighty inquisitive,” he teased.

“I’m just asking,” she began to protest, but stopped when Oded’s chuckle turned into down right laughter. She splashed him with water. “Oh hush!” she said with a smile.

“Yes I did, in answer to your question,” Oded finally answered. “But it wasn’t the same. I thought she was still a beautiful woman, but I wasn’t drawn to her like I had been when I was sixteen.”

“So what is it exactly that you feel for me?” Raegan asked, finally getting to the heart of the issue.

Oded closed his eyes and sighed. His heart began to pick up its pace as he thought about the emotions that Raegan brought out in him. “I feel everything with you,” he began. “I would give you the moon if it would bring a simple smile to your face. I feel helpless when you’re not with me, and I feel like I can conquer the world when you are with me. I feel like we are a part of one another, and when we are apart, that part of me, that is you, is missing. I want to protect you and keep you safe. I’ve never been a jealous person, but I find myself insanely jealous over any guy that might look your way. It’s crazy. I know this, and I am desperately trying to keep a firm hold on it, but it’s hard, Raegan.” Oded seemed to flounder for a moment then, “I’m scared to death of the feelings you bring out in me. I’m afraid that I might be becoming obsessed with you, but what scares me even more is the thought of being without you. What you did, breaking up with me, was the worse thing I’ve ever experienced. Even though you did it to protect me, I don’t ever want to go through that again.”

Raegan’s heart was pounding by the time he was finished. She turned her head and kissed his cheek as her arms tightened around him once again.    “Me neither,” she whispered in his ear. She hated seeing him so upset. She was glad that he felt he could share his feelings with her. “Come on. I have one more thing to do to help you relax,” she said as she pushed at Oded’s shoulders.

Oded stood up and grabbed a towel to dry off. Raegan pulled the plug out of the drain and grabbed another towel. “Where to now, doc?” He smiled at her, noticing for the first time that she was wearing the rose necklace. It made him feel good knowing she was wearing something that he had given her.

“To the bedroom,” she commanded, returning his smile. His mood was much lighter now, and she was determined to keep it that way.

“The bedroom room, huh?” he teased wiggling his eyebrows. “Oh boy!”

“Get your mind out of the gutter!” Raegan chided playfully. “I’m going to give you a massage.”

Oded pretended to be disappointed. “Back massage?” He pouted. “You mean no sex?”

Raegan threw her hands up in the air. “Men!” she complained, walking out of the bathroom. “All they ever think about is sex, sex, sex!” She heard Oded chuckling behind her. He gave her a gentle slap on the butt as he passed her, causing her to jump and give a little squeak. “Hey!” she exclaimed. Oded moved over to the bed and stretched out on his stomach. He grabbed a pillow, and tucking his arms around it, he laid his head down.

Raegan climbed onto the bed and moved over Oded to straddle his butt. God, she loved his body. He was all hard muscle, but yet he wasn’t big and buff like a body builder. That, to her, was a turn off. Oded carried his weight and muscles well. He was tall and well proportioned. She laid her hands palms down onto his lower back. He was much more relaxed now, but his muscles were still tense and bunched up. She leaned forward to put some of her weight into it and dug the heels of her hands into the tight muscles of his lower back. His breath came out in a slight moan as she began to work the muscles with the heel of her hands. She switched to using her thumbs and fingers as she worked her way up his spine. She found a hard knot between his left shoulder blade and spine. He jumped when she pressed down on it.

“Son of a bitch!” he breathed softly as he settled back down.

“You really need to relax more, sweetheart!” Raegan said as she gently but firmly worked the knot with her thumb.

“Well, maybe if you would quit giving me reasons to get uptight, I would rel . . . OW!” he yelled as Raegan dug her thumb in a bit more roughly than she had been.

“Oh, I’m sorry, honey. Did that hurt?” Raegan teased.

“Women!” Oded growled softly as he settled down beneath her again, but Raegan could see the smile twitching around his full lips as she moved her hands along his shoulders, working the muscles gently but firmly. Oded closed his eyes and sighed. “That feels so good.”

“You feel good!” Raegan replied softly as she leaned over to plant a kiss between his shoulder blades. She felt his muscles flex beneath her hands as he shifted. She heard him breath in deeply and release it. Leaning forward again, she placed her lips near his ear and whispered softly, “Shall I tell you now how you make me feel?”

His eyes snapped open, and she felt his body tremble beneath her. “Please,” he pleaded, barely moving his lips.

Oded’s body was still damp from the bath, and the oil she had put in the water made his skin soft and supple. Raegan glided her hands along his back, touching him everywhere. “You make me feel complete,” she began softly. “As if a part of me had been missing all this time, and you had it all along.” She began placing soft kisses everywhere her hands had been. “I feel connected to you.” She moved his hair to the side, exposing his neck and placing a kiss there. “I’ve never felt anything like it, but I sense things with you, only with you.” She moved lower, placing kisses down his spine. “You make me feel beautiful and desired.” She reached his lower back and placed feather light kisses along the base of his spine, all the while her hands gliding along his skin. “You make me feel like a woman!” Raegan began allowing her breasts to brush against his skin. Her nipples were tight buds of sensitive flesh, and they tingled as she dragged them across his back.

“Raegan!” Oded called out hoarsely. She allowed him to turn over so that they faced each other. He tried to reach for her, but she wasn’t through with him yet. His hard erection pushed against the inside of her thigh as she settled back down on him.

“Not yet!” She smiled and leaned over to place a kiss on his lips. She pushed his hands away as she moved down the length of his body, taking her time, touching, kissing, tasting, dragging her breasts along his skin until he thought he might explode from the need to bury himself deep inside her. “I love you so much, Oded!” she whispered against his stomach as she dipped her tongue into his bellybutton. She lifted her head and met his dark gaze. “The intensity of that love scares me too. We haven’t known each other very long, but I feel as if I’ve known you my whole life.” Raegan brushed her breasts against his throbbing sex, eliciting a sharp gasp from him. “In such a short time you have become my whole world, and I don’t know how good that is, but I know that there is nothing I can do to stop it.”

Raegan sat up, straddling Oded’s legs. She reached out and touched him, brushing her fingers along the velvety hard length of his manhood. She raised her eyes to meet his again and saw the control he was stretching thin to let her do what she was doing. His arms were stretched out beside him, his hands clenched in tight fists. His jaw was clenched, and his dark eyes burned a hole right through her. She knew exactly what he wanted. “Soon,” she promised. His nostrils flared out as his breathing became more labored.

Her fingers circled around the thickness of his sex, enjoying the feel of him. How could something be so hard and soft at the same time? Her thumb brushed over the tip, parting the small slit at the top and smearing a tiny bead of his essence. Oded began cursing softly in Hebrew as his hips thrust up of their own accord. Smiling, she bent over and flicked her tongue across that slit. Raegan had no clue that doing that would cause the reaction she got. Oded nearly came up off the bed as an electrical current rushed down his manhood, ricocheted off his balls, and exploded throughout the lower half of his body. He wasn’t sure if the intensity of it was due to what was happening to them right now, or if that was just a sensitive spot for him, but his control snapped, and before she could take a breath, Oded had her on her back, her legs raised as he surged inside her. Raegan cried out at the suddenness of his entrance. His mouth was on hers in a kiss of apology, as he couldn’t hold back any longer. She had pushed him to the limits of his control, and all the forces of nature could not stop him now. Recovering quickly, Raegan returned his kiss with the same frantic need. The way he filled her so completely, the way he moved inside her, thrusting and grinding his hips, caused a tension to build quickly within her. The friction of his velvety hardness in her tight wet sheath sent them both spiraling as wave after wave of their releases swept over them. Their hips slammed together in a mutual violence that neither one of them could control.

“Oded!” Raegan clutched at his shoulders as her second climax nearly tore her in half. She had never had double climaxes before. Oded continued to thrust into her over and over, unable to stop.

“God damn it!” he growled as he slammed the palm of his hand against his headboard. Then just as suddenly their climaxes released them both, and Oded nearly crushed her as he fell exhausted on top of her. Raegan wrapped her arms around him, soothing him with soft words and strokes of her hand along his back. He was breathing heavily as he shifted his weight to take some of it off her. “I didn’t mean to be so rough. Did I hurt you?” he asked when he could finally speak. He lifted his head to see her face.

She reached up and touched his cheek. “I think I will be sore later, but no you didn’t hurt me.” She smiled.

Oded kissed her sweetly. “Next time you get a bright idea to help me to relax, don’t.” He grinned, winking at her.

Raegan laughed. “Okay, so it didn’t all go completely how I planned. But you do feel better don’t you?”

“Much.” He kissed her again.

“I’m hungry,” Raegan announced against his mouth.

Oded laughed, the vibration of it transferring from his mouth to hers and sending tingles down her spine. “Alright gorgeous, lets get cleaned up, and I’ll treat you to a nice dinner out.”

“You mean we aren’t going to order in?” Raegan teased, already knowing full well why he wanted to take her out.

Oded raised an eyebrow. “Do you wish to eat?” Raegan nodded, her eyes twinkling. “Do you wish to eat now?” She nodded again. “Then we are going out!” he finished as he eased out of her. He heard her sharp gasp and froze. “Are you alright? I thought you said I didn’t hurt you!” His eyes and voice were full of concern.

Raegan gave him a smile. “I said I would be sore didn’t I?”

“You said later,” he accused.

“Well you can consider this later,” she answered as he carefully moved off her.

“Raegan, I . . .”

“Oded, stop it.” Raegan cut him off as she sat up. “Don’t you dare apologize for what happened. I even managed to experience my first double climax during that, so don’t ruin it for me by apologizing for being too rough.” She kissed him to take the sting out of her words and smiled.

Oded smiled back, relaxing. “Double climaxes, huh?” he asked. Raegan blushed for some reason, and it made him laugh. “Do you know how beautiful you are when you blush?”

Raegan’s blush deepened as she climbed out of the bed. “I’m taking a shower!” she muttered as she headed for the bathroom. She heard Oded laughing behind her as he got up to follow.

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                                                                        Chapter 31

After getting cleaned up, they headed out to dinner. Raegan wasn’t much on fancy food, so Oded took her to a nice Italian place that served good food but was inexpensive. While they were there, they were approached several times by fans of Oded’s. Ever polite, Oded graciously signed the autographs that were sought and spoke kindly to each girl. After the girls left, Oded turned his attention back to Raegan. He found her watching him closely.

“What?” He smiled.

Raegan shook her head. “Don’t ever change, Oded.”

“Change what?” he asked, confused.

“Being friendly to your fans. Don’t ever let your ego swell up so big that you forget who put you where you are now,” Raegan elaborated.

Oded propped his elbows on the table and made a steeple with his fingers, propping his chin against it. The look he gave her was filled with amusement. He knew she was serious, but he couldn’t help but smile. “Well, I shouldn’t need to worry about that if I have you to keep me firmly planted on the ground.”

Raegan smiled brightly at him. “I can bring you down a notch or two if need be!”

He laughed. “Somehow I don’t doubt that one bit!”

Their dinner arrived and Raegan told Oded about her meeting with Lisa and the events that followed it while they ate. She told him of her meeting with the FBI agent and that Agent Nicholson was going to do a formal investigation into the charges. What he uncovered would determine what would happen to Billy.

“Will he be fired?” Oded asked.

“Don’t know,” Raegan answered. “Don’t know much of anything yet. It’s going to take some time though, so don’t expect instant results.”

Oded pushed away his empty plate and thought about everything that Raegan had told him. “Rae, I’m concerned about your safety,” he finally said.

“My safety? Why ever for?” Raegan blinked in surprise.

“Billy is a loose cannon. He is what you would call a coward,” Oded explained. “I noticed it when I first met him. He was real rough and tough acting with you, but as soon as I showed up and showed him he couldn’t push me around, he backed off quickly. He did the same thing this afternoon.”

Raegan nodded. “I never thought about it, but yes, you’re right. One of the reasons I broke up with him was because he was becoming obsessive and abusive. He was insanely jealous of my interest in you as an actor. He began to forbid me to go see The Mummy.” She shuddered at the memory.

“God, Raegan, that is what I was afraid of. Guys like Billy, they don’t just go away. They get sneaky because they are too cowardly to do anything to your face.” Oded reached across the table and took Raegan’s hand in his. “Move in with me?” he asked suddenly.

Raegan’s heart stopped beating for a split second, then ran triple time in her chest. “Move in with you?” she repeated, confused. “Where did that come from?”

“Raegan, I can’t protect you if you are clear out in Rancho Cucamonga. If you move in with me, I can take you to work and pick you up everyday, I could-”

“No!” Raegan interrupted him. “Absolutely not!”

Oded let go of her hand and sat back in his seat, frowning. “Why not?”

Raegan sighed. She knew he meant well, so she took a deep breath and tried to soften her tone. “Honey, you are my knight in shining armor. You don’t know how much I love the fact that you want to protect me and keep me safe, but I’m not helpless. I will not move in with you just so you can keep me safe. I’m sorry, but if and when we ever do share a place together, it will be because we want to, not because we have to.”

“Do you seriously think I am asking you to move in with me because I think I have to?” Oded asked, stunned.

Raegan waved her hand and frowned. “No, no, no. Let me ask you this: if not for what is happening right now with Billy, would you be asking me to move in with you right now?”

Oded opened his mouth to answer, but nothing came out. He closed his mouth, realizing that she was right. “God I hate it when women are right,” he mumbled good-naturedly. “I will eventually, you know.”

Raegan laughed. “Eventually is not the point, though it’s nice to know.” She gave him a sweet smile that made Oded want to kiss right off her face. “And besides, Ded, I’m not going to do anything that tells Billy that I’m afraid of him. If he was to find out that I moved in with you because I was afraid, then he would think he won and I won’t give him that satisfaction!”

“Alright, alright, sweetness, but please do me a favor?”

“Sure, honey, what?” Raegan asked.

“Promise me that you will be extra careful from now on until this thing with Billy is over?”

Raegan’s heart melted at the look of concern in Oded’s dark eyes. She nodded. “I promise.”

Oded paid for their dinner, and they left the restaurant. On the way back to his condo, Oded reached over and took her hand. Bringing it up to his lips he kissed it. “I was thinking that maybe we could stop off at the video rental store and pick up a few movies for tonight.”

Raegan looked over at him in surprise. “Oh really? That would be fun, but I thought we were going to . . .” She let the sentence hang, knowing Oded would understand her meaning.

He did. He grinned at her. “Oh we can, but I was trying to be courteous and thoughtful and give you a break. I wasn’t sure if you’d be up to it after that last round; thought you might still be too sore.”

Raegan blushed. “I am.”

Oded laughed and kissed the back of her hand again. “Then we will rent some movies,” he announced, and drove them to the video store.

An hour later found them sitting in front of the television watching “True Lies”. They had popcorn and sodas. Oded was sitting on the floor, leaning back against the couch, and Raegan was sitting between his legs, leaning back against his chest. She had the bowl of popcorn in her lap, and every so often Oded’s long arm would reach around her to grab a handful. When the popcorn was finished, Raegan put the bowl aside. Oded wrapped his arms around her as both of them found a comfortable position. Next they watched “Ladyhawke”, which had been Raegan’s choice, much to Oded’s horror.

“Oh babe, come one, no love stories!” he’d pleaded.

Raegan ignored him. “This is more than a love story, Ded. It’s got action and humor, just like True Lies does, only it’s Rutger Hauer instead of Arnie boy.”

As it turned out, Oded loved it. “You failed to mention that Michele Pfeiffer was in this movie,” Oded commented as they watched it. “She sure is a pretty lady.”

“Shut up, Oded.”

Oded tightened his arms around her and chuckled softly. They both fell asleep during the third movie, which was another Arnie movie, “Kindergarten Cop”. They had both stretched out on the floor and Oded woke sometime later to find some weird movie on that was not what they had been watching earlier. He got up to find that it was after 1 a.m. He turned the television off, made sure the condo was locked up, then carried Raegan to bed.

The next morning Oded announced that he was taking her over to Catalina Island for the rest of the weekend. He’d made reservations for them at a bed and breakfast and their helicopter trip to the island was to leave at noon. Raegan was excited; she had never been to Catalina before and was looking forward it. It turned out to be a wonderful weekend. They shopped and went on a few sightseeing trips, hung out on the beach and ate at good restaurants. Oded brought his camera and took some pictures of Raegan. After a bit of a playful scuffle, he allowed Raegan to take some pictures of him too and finally persuaded a nice couple to take a few pictures of them together. No phone calls, no thoughts of Billy or Trish marred their weekend. It was a time of healing for both of them, a time for growing close and strengthening their relationship. Oded loved her tenderly at night, nearly bring her to tears, so that by the time the weekend was over, Raegan just knew that nothing would ever separate them again.

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                                                       What If - Chapters 32 - 33